


Lay On

by Rebel_Scum1221



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A CHAPTER THAT REVOLVES AROUND TUPPERWARE, AND A COUPLE OF BURN THIS QUOTES, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BB-8 is Rey's halflinger, Bed sharing because i literally cant write anything without it, Ben is a smirky McSmirk man but also a baby because soft! Ben will forever kill me, Ben's horse is named Silencer because thats ominous and he's gotta keep up his broody persona, Double Uh Oh my bed is broken, F/M, GUESS WHAT THE AUTHOR ACTUALLY WROTE THE SMUT THIS TIME, I believe one might classify this as a slow burn but its not that slow, M/M, POV Rey (Star Wars), Reylo - Freeform, SHE SMUTTED SHES SO PROUD OF HERSELF, Star Wars References, Sweetheart is used because I CANT NOT, The author is an equestrian so we got PONIES GALORE, They include:, This is a jousting AU but its not Medieval, Uh oh we gotta share a cabin, WE ALSO GOT REYLO WAFFLES, WEVE GOT TROPES HERE AYYEEE, this fic is my baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-05-12 04:57:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19222057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebel_Scum1221/pseuds/Rebel_Scum1221
Summary: If any of yall have read Sugar and Spice, I apologize  for not uploading that one tonight, but I am churning out content! I currently have five? chapters written of this already so hopefully ill actually be able to keep a semi consistent uploading process.





	1. Certain Someone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KyloRing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloRing/gifts), [usethehorserey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/usethehorserey/gifts).



> If any of yall have read Sugar and Spice, I apologize for not uploading that one tonight, but I am churning out content! I currently have five? chapters written of this already so hopefully ill actually be able to keep a semi consistent uploading process.

Rey was tired of driving. Sixteen hours of driving with a horse trailer was like dating, or shopping, or whatever other activity Rey strongly disliked. It was endless, tedious, and overall just exhausting. Granted, good company made it better as long as her three closest friends weren't all passed out as they were currently, Finn snoring loudly in the passenger seat while Rey tried very hard to resist the urge to shove an old bunched up straw wrapper in his wide open mouth.

 

Her brain's constant mutterings of 'almost there’s' luckily was enough to convince her to be a good friend and not wake up the three by playing "We Will Rock You" on full blast.

 

Usually, this was the part of the drive where Rey got giddy with excitement. She first competed at WIMASC (Wren's International Medieval Arms Spring Competition) five years ago. It was her first time jousting off her property in D'qar. It was also her first win— which came as a surprise to everyone in attendance due to a certain someone's perfect track record— and also the first time she met Ben Solo (AKA that certain someone).

 

Said certain someone may or may not have been the reason she wasn't exactly jumping for joy this year.

 

She made the turn onto the property they would be spending the next week on and of course the second she hit that gravel road all her friends arise from the dead.

 

"And here I was, thinking your job was to keep me awake," she said as she glanced over at Finn who was stretching like a smug cat who just finished its nap on all your clean clothes.

 

"It's the middle of the day."

 

"On the contrary my dear Finn, it's four PM. It was the middle of the day when you passed out cold."

 

He gave her a look as she turned to punch in the code to the property gate.

 

"Okay frumble butt," Poe chimed in from the backseat.

 

"Oiy! No, you don't get to talk. You snore so loud I'm pretty sure Bee-Bee could hear you from the trailer. I don't honestly know how Finn stands sleeping with you."

 

"I'd say Finn enjoys sleeping with me quite a bit, I mean he—"

 

"You knew what I meant." She didn't need to hear about whatever new kinky sex thing they were experimenting with. Rey thinks she's still scarred from that last conversation.

 

Rose, who was thankfully not egging Poe on this time (Rey thinks she might also not want to relive that talk), was slowly gathering up all the leftover Buc'ees wrappers from the many stops along their way and sneaking a piece of fudge into her mouth. Rey reached her hand back behind her, beckoning for Rose to share.

 

She was going to need lots of sugar, alcohol, and good food if anyone expected her to make it through this week.

 

She was determined to win this year. To officially settle the score between her and Ben that has lasted far too long. Every year they tie, and it has since become something to be expected of the two. Last year Ben won at Pasaana— a jousting competition that took place earlier in the year— and then Rey won at Wren, and the year before it was reversed. This year she already had one victory under her belt and she really wanted to slap Ben across the face. Winning WIMASC was one of the better ways to do just that.

 

She was far too ready to see the look on his face when she finally broke their chain of draws, becoming an official champion for the year. There would be no trace of that damned smirk, and maybe if his eyes were filled with enough pettiness and frustration she might be able to get over how magnetic they were.

 

Not that his eyes were something she thought about often. Or anything else besides that Solo insufferableness of his, for that matter.

 

She pulled into the check-in booth just before her brain took control and spiraled down that rabbit hole. Karé's familiar face greeted her. Her short blonde hair had gotten slightly longer since she had last seen her, and there was a light in her eyes that reminded Rey of the reason she fell in love with this place to begin with.

 

"Long time no see! How is little Jaz?" They had a gender reveal at last years competition and Rey had seen every Facebook post about the little girl since she was born.

 

"Probably being spoiled rotten at Grandma and Grandpa's right now," Karé said as she checked over the Coggins papers Rey had handed her.

 

As she finished Poe jumped up to the center console to promptly tell her that he expected to see every baby photo she had been selfishly hiding away from the public before the week was over. Rey started toward the barn before Poe got too ahead of himself and bailed on unpacking to fawn over adorable baby videos.

 

She drove down the familiar road, scanning the property as they went along.

 

It wasn't that she was looking for someone in particular. At least that's what Rey told herself, even as her eyes landed on Ben— who somehow looked even broader than the last time she saw him— who was helping set up the tilt.

 

And of course, as if summoned by the gods themselves, he just so happened to glance over. And of course...their eyes met. That damn pair of pretty eyes. Rey swore it was like looking into melted chocolate, or something equally delicious. That was what it was like... just looking at him.

 

Delicious.

 

No, she told herself she wasn't going to have these thoughts this year. She wasn't.

 

Rey just kept driving on, unaware of what exactly her friends were saying as she plotted out exactly how she could avoid him as much as possible this week.

 

That turned out to be a bigger challenge than originally intended.

 

The only stall left for Bee to go in just so happened to be right next to Ben's. Curse I-10 and it's never ending construction. If she had gotten here sooner she might have been able to swing a different stall. Either every other competitor disliked Ben enough to vacate that one stall (which wouldn't be too surprising) or the universe was just pitted against her.

 

Silencer reached his big dark head over the stall door in greeting as Rey walked down the barn aisle, Bee-Bee in hand, and nickered at the pair.

 

_At least his horse is cute. ___

__

__She went over to Silencers stall and gave him a scratch under his jaw, what Rey knew to be the horse's favorite spot._ _

__

__"Can I get a kiss?" She asked him in her high pitched animal-speaking tone. She held his face and kissed his the side of his snout right behind his nostril in the softest most velvety spot before he had a chance to pull away._ _

__

__Silencer was by far the biggest horse at WIMASC— he had to be with a rider like Ben— but was the definition of a gentle giant. She would often sneak in cuddles with him after checking on Bee late at night._ _

__

__At least that would be easier now. One good thing from being stalled next to Ben._ _

__

__"I'm surprised at the number of stalls filled this year. How many jousters are we scheduled to have, do you know?" Rey said, her brain slowly calming down. Pony kisses helped._ _

__

__"I think there are only two newbies this year, but they might have brought extra horses, and I think Temmin is going to do the chase on Bones so he's here."_ _

__

__"Bones is here?" Poe said._ _

__

__"Looks like it."_ _

__

__"I need to go say hi to that crazy stallion. I owe him extra cookies for saving my ass last year," he said as he disappeared to go find Temmin's beloved psycho pony._ _

__

__She heard Finn approach from behind, probably grabbing the last of Bee's stuff and turned to let him know his boyfriend ran off to go greet his favorite stallion._ _

__

__Rey instead was face to face with Ben._ _

__

__Ben, who was running his hands through that hair of his. A dull expression was plastered to his face, probably because he just realized their very unfortunate stalling circumstances._ _

__

___Good. At least he has to suffer too. ____ _

____ _ _

____"Oh hey Ben!" There was Finn, finally. She hoped he would understand her predicament "Hello." Such a conversationalist._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Rey needed to get out of here before her attitude toward Ben raised suspicion. She didn't want to have to explain to her friends about him right now. She really didn't want to explain about them ever._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"We all good?" She asked Rose as she walked over to check Bee-Bee one more time._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Think so."_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"Okay, I am going to check in with Tem to see where he wants me to park the trailer," Rey said, scrambling to find any reason to get out of _this _. "Meet you at the dining hall?"___ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Okay."_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Ben didn't say a word more as she left, but she could feel his gaze on her even after she parked the trailer. She got goosebumps nonetheless._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Rey guessed she better start prepping herself for the rest of the week. Seeing how her luck was today, she begrudgingly assumed she would have to deal with him a lot more than she originally anticipated._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______As she made the trudge back from parking the trailer, Rey contemplated exactly how she was going to pull off this week._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______She obviously couldn't be an asshole to him because that wouldn't add up considering all the years prior, despite friendly competitiveness, they had been on good terms._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Probably even better than good terms._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Okay, so not an asshole._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The trick was finding a way to not make a fool out of herself around him without defending by being an asshole._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Nice but guarded. That was the trick. She couldn't do or say anything like she had last year because well... her assumptions about him were wrong and that only left her feeling shitty. By the time she got to the dining hall she had come to the conclusion that she would stick to her first plan. Avoiding as much as her luck would allow. Then, in the situations she couldn't avoid Rey would just stay casual. And if somehow she failed and screwed up miserably she would just go to plan C and throw herself into the freezing lake and hope for the best._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Very thorough, Rey was._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______At least she'd have the evening to herself. As much as she loved her friends she was looking forward to getting away from their persistent pestering on the "certain someone" subject that always seemed to arise at either Pasaana or WIMASC. Plus, sleeping after an exhausting day of driving was the best gift she could give herself._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Rey was one of the few lucky enough to actually have a cabin all to herself. They gave her the option of choosing a cabin her second year in attendance— probably because she had gotten there early and they had very few contestants that year— and Temmin had assigned it as hers ever since. A good thing too because Rey was sure if she was forced to bunk with Poe and Finn again she would strangle them in their sleep._ _ _ _ _ _

______Her cabin was a tiny one, but functional enough. It fit her nice full sized air mattress and just enough room to open the front door and to change. Rey thought it might have been the smallest on the property, which might have been why she got lucky enough to keep it to herself, but that was fine by her._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______She stopped by it on her way to the dining hall, hoping to drop off her mattress and bag before she ate, but found it already inhabited when she opened the door, luckily not walking in on anyone. Two twin sized mattresses were crammed into the space with two small duffels next to them._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______That was fine. She knew Temmin would have her placed somewhere. Rey reminded herself to ask him where she needed to go after she ate._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______She found out sooner rather than later just where exactly she'd be staying. Tem caught her on her way to dinner and introduced the two women walking next to him._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Rey, this is Zorri and Jannah. Zorri, Jannah, this is Rey." They all shook hands in greeting. Rey was so used to familiar faces and catch-ups that it felt strange to meet new people. She still knew the feeling of being new so Rey smiled brightly in welcome._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Hello!" Rey said._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Rey is one of our jousters. She owns a horse named Bumble Bee but we call him Bee or Bee-bee for short," Temmin quickly informed._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Was he the cute halflinger next to Silencer?" Zorri asked, eyes bright._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"That would be him," she responded with a smile across her face. Everyone loved Bee. "He is so cute. We just stopped in to check up on ours for the night. I have a quarter and Jannah has the Arabian cross. They are in the last two stalls on the left." Zorri continued motioning with her hands. She was very bright and bubbly. Rey liked her._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"I'll have to stop in to see them."_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"For sure."_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Well, I am so excited for the new blood! We need more female jousters here, I've been drowning in testosterone for too long!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"We are so happy to be here. I won't be jousting this year but I'm sure Jannah will kick ass, as per usual." The woman in question smiled at her friends comment._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Looking forward to getting my ass kicked then," Rey commented. Despite her hopes to settle the score between her and Ben she really wouldn't mind losing to her, as long as Ben still scored below her._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Rey could tell their conversation was coming to a close so she quickly asked Temmin if he knew where she would be staying._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"Oh yeah! Sorry, I completely forgot to tell you. Because of all our attendants this year everyone has to bunk with someone. I put you with Ben. You two were the only ones without bunkmates. Hope that's okay."_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Ben._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______She had to bunk with Ben._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______It was official. The universe was fucking with her, and Rey was screwed._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______There was no way in hell she'd be able to execute plan A._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The lake looked more inviting by the minute._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______"No no, that's fine."_ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Alarm Clock Songs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey, look who actually posted on their allotted timeframe! Wow, I am impressed with myself!
> 
> I am going to try to post every Friday... Yeah. Every Friday. *Insert announcer voice here* "And then guess what she didn't do every Friday..." 
> 
> I promise I will try.

Ben wasn’t at dinner.

Or maybe he was and Rey just arrived late enough that he had already left. Either way, she didn’t care. It made her life easier if only for an hour or so.

She assumed he probably was off at the cabin drinking some sort of pre-made kale smoothie.

Rey tried not to think of how exactly she would be spending the rest of the evening (in a frenzied panic is the answer) as she made her way to the showers, bag, and mattress still in tow. She started digging around in her duffel trying to fish out her toiletries and flip flops because… efficiency. In reality, it was just about the least efficient thing she could do, but she needed to focus on something else while she made the trudge to the communal bathrooms.

That’s probably why she didn’t notice Ben walking in the opposite direction until he was practically on top of her, the scent of whatever product he put in his hair making it very hard to walk straight.

It was like freshly baked bread or apple pie. Ben didn’t smell like those things obviously— his scent was spicier with a sweet undertone, like black chamomile or something of the sort— but it gave her the same feeling. Some sort of homey, fuzzy feeling. Like she just wanted to burrow into his chest and stay there breathing him in until she died.

_These were the kinds of thoughts you said you weren’t going to have Rey. ___

__He walked past her, the only acknowledgment she received being a curt nod. One that made his wet hair bounce and fall into his face._ _

__And there went her life force leaving her body._ _

__Fuck, this has to stop._ _

__Rey envisioned Edna Mode slapping her across and telling her to ‘pull herself together’ as she entered the bathrooms._ _

__There it was, that smell again. And because we’ve already established the universe hates her the only shower opened was the one clearly used by the one and only Ben Solo._ _

__This only made room for disastrous thoughts Rey thought as she started stripping down in the shower stall._ _

__Thoughts of a naked Ben Solo._ _

__Or even worse, thoughts of a naked, wet Ben Solo._ _

__It was the smell of his shampoo or something, Rey reasoned. It assaulted her further as she stepped under the hot stream of water._ _

__Yes, it was definitely the smell that was making her brain come up with things. None of which were the image of him fucking her in the shower. No. None of them were that because she made strict guidelines as to what she could and couldn’t think of and that was one of those ‘super duper don’t think about’ things._ _

__God, what was she going to do?_ _

__She wondered if Ben knew that she was bunking with him or if she would have to knock on his door and explain the whole situation._ _

__Surely, _surely _Temmin told him. Granted, Tem wasn’t the best at remembering to inform people about stuff. But surely.___ _

____Yep. He hadn’t told him._ _ _ _

____So there Rey was, standing in the doorway, struck speechless by his lack of a damn shirt and trying to figure out how to tell him about their situation.  
“Do you have a cowl or something you can put on?”_ _ _ _

____“What’s a _cowl _honestly going to do Rey?” He stepped closer closing the door behind him and making the space on the tiny cabin porch even smaller.  
He had a point, the man was massive. It wasn’t like Rey hadn’t noticed, she was trying hard not to notice.___ _ _ _

______“I had hoped Temmin had told you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Told me about what?” He said, eyes now glancing down at her bag and air mattress, probably putting two and two together._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Because of the number of attendees this year everyone has to bunk with someone, and we were the only two without bunkmates.” She paused examining him. “I know. I hate it too,” Rey added, trying to smooth over whatever look flitted across his face._ _ _ _ _ _

______His gaze only hardened at her last words. “Yeah. The worst luck right.” There was something in the tone of his voice that reminded her of exactly why she made boundaries in the first place. He didn’t like her at all. That was clear to her now._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m at least a better bunkmate than Poe. Finn can have him, as loud as he is. I can never get any damn sleep,” she said as she silently wondered if Ben snored, or sleepwalked. In all honesty, Rey probably wouldn’t care if he screamed strings of curse words in his sleep and she never got any shut-eye solely because it was _Ben. _____ _ _ _ _

________Rey guessed she’d find out soon enough._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A hint of a smile crossed Ben’s face as he said, “Try having him as a college roommate.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh, no way!” Rey exclaimed. She couldn’t even picture it. Ben and Poe in college, sharing a room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He only nodded as he opened the door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His cabin was bare like the rest of them on property but significantly more spacious than her previous sleeping arrangement. Rey supposed it would have to be for a man as big as him. Ben was clearly all settled in, his likely king-sized mattress already blown up on the main floor. It took up most of the space in the cabin, only leaving enough room to get around the table that sat up against the wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She wondered where she was going to stay, considering it appeared all available square footage was taken up by Ben._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was no way she was sleeping with him. That would be a piece of her own personal hell, perfectly crafted to kill her slowly. This wasn’t some fanfiction or romantic comedy, surely there was some other place for her to sleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He answered that pressing question before she had the chance to ask it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“There is a loft section right above the porch, I think it fits a queen. I would use it, but I can't exactly sit up or really comfortably do anything up there.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Rey glanced over to where he motioned and immediately understood why. The ceiling was very close to the floor of the loft, and once an air mattress was blown up there, there wouldn’t be a whole lot of room left._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Luckily Rey was petite. And an even brighter side to this sleeping arrangement was that she would be about as far away from him as she could manage without leaving the cabin.  
“I’ll go set up then.” She stopped, looking at him before realizing she just cued herself to move and now she was standing and staring like an idiot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________All of her rules and guidelines were fucked over. There was no way she would be able to go the whole week without doing something really embarrassing. Something she would severely regret._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________This is exactly what I was trying to avoid. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I feel like there is something that needs to be said here. Something else. This whole situation is weird,” Ben said as she just finally started to move. He thought it was weird, uncomfortable. He probably hated having to be around her and there was nothing she could do to change that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Yes, the situation was weird._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Yes, it was made weirder because of Rey’s actions last year._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________But if he disliked her so much and was so uncomfortable he could sleep outside. It was cool enough._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“And what else is there to say?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________There wasn’t anything left to say. He had made his opinion about her very clear last year._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They were forced to share a cabin. She was sleeping in the loft, he was sleeping down below. They would see each other in the morning, and then the morning after that and every morning to follow until they left. She fell hard for him the first time they met, and she’d have to spend the rest of the week pretending that he isn’t one of the primary thoughts on her mind so excuse her if she had no empathy for someone who just had to tolerate her presence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ben only responded by doing that thing with his jaw and plopping down on his bed, shuffling under his sheets with his shirtless insufferableness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She set up her bed (thank god for cordless automatic air pumps) and climbed in it, hoping by the grace of all things holy she’d be able to sleep that night._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ben shifted in his bed from down below her. She could hear every little movement from him. For some reason, it appeared no bugs were out tonight, no other sound to distract her from who exactly lay less than twenty feet away from her. It was so quiet Rey almost felt as if she could hear him breathe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She was insane._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Why couldn’t she just fall asleep?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Fall asleep, wake up tomorrow and be over him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Apparently, that wasn’t how feelings worked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Despite all this, Rey still found herself gazing down at him and for some reason felt as if she saw him gazing up at her as well._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We Will Rock You” blared through the cabin in the early morning hours and Rey reached around for her phone to turn off her classic WIMASC alarm song that had everything to do with "A Knights Tale"._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It wasn’t coming from her phone, however. She realized she forgot to set her alarm last night and instead looked down at Ben who was doing the same song and dance, shuffling and groaning to find his phone until finally, the song ceased._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Nice choice,” Rey said, voice rough with sleep. It was always the song she chose for her alarms at jousting events and was funny he used it too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah well…” He sat up rubbing his eyes. “It’s a classic.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Rey grunted her agreement and checked her phone. She would need to be at breakfast in thirty minutes. Her eyes were putting up a very good argument about closing again, but luckily she persisted and actually sat up and shuffled over to the ladder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ben was moving around the room as she climbed down, gathering his clothes and other items._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The man still didn’t have a shirt on. Not exactly the best thing for Rey’s morning haze filled brain._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Luckily, he pulled a nice grey tee over his body before leaving to get dressed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Rey sighed in frustration and plopped down on Ben’s bed. Not one of Rey’s brighter moments seeing as how the second she sprawled out on it she was hit with a wave of him and whatever distinct scent her brain was always hyperaware of._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She was so fucked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________So fucked and yet utterly not _fucked. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It really was a problem._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Thankfully she would have something to preoccupy her mind today. They would eat breakfast and then go train, make a couple of passes, and Rey would do what Rey does best.  
And she would beat him in their practice rounds and she’d beat him in the competition._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey figured she had enough time to change before Ben got back. They had a long trek to the bathrooms from the cabin. It was the furthest from really anything and nestled into a few big fallen boulders from the hill next to them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It would be like Ben to personally pick the cabin farthest from everyone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She couldn’t be one to judge though. It really was nice… quiet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey started to change, first pulling on a pair of riding pants and replacing them in her bag with her sleep shorts. She pulled off her shirt quickly making work of squishing into her dreaded sports bra. Her sleep shirt was thrown back into the bag and just as she went to grab her WIMASC shirt from the year prior the door opened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Of course, it opened because Rey is an idiot and forgot to lock it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She was really glad she put on her bra when she did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The door slammed shut as quickly as it opened as Ben spoke a string of curses followed with, “why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were going to change? I would have knocked.”  
“I didn’t think about it until after you left.” Rey paused wondering exactly why he was making such a big deal out of it. Sure, she was changing, but she was in a sports bra _and _had pants on. Far more skin was exposed in a bathing suit.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh get in here. It’s not like I’m naked,” she added._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________A beat passed and finally, the door opened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________His ears were red and he was carefully avoiding eye contact with her. He wasn’t flustered because he liked her, that Rey was sure, but she could still take pride in making him uncomfortable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I didn’t know you were a prude Ben. Do I need to hide my ankles as well?” She said, voice dripping with sarcasm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Fuck off. I was being polite.” He was. Rey knew that. But that didn't make it any less fun to pick on him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She smirked as she finally pulled the shirt over her head. “A true knight.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the lovely 'walks in on person B changing' cliché. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed. 
> 
> if any of you are familiar with "A Knights Tale" I am sure you got my reference. If you aren't, you should definitely watch it. It is hilarious, and a young Paul Bettany is the best. 
> 
> I am sure you caught the 'and they had to share rooms' cliché as well. At least I haven't stooped to the level of 'and there was only one bed *gasps*'. I haven't stooped there yet... 
> 
>  
> 
> Love you all♥  
> -Olivia


	3. The Short Straw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I was one day late. Insanity happened, but at least its not a week? Two weeks?

Rose was attached to Rey like a barnacle all of breakfast hinting at not so subtle things and driving Rey insane. She had chosen to share some information with her a couple of years back and now anything Ben related immediately became a breeding ground for unwanted questions.

"No, nothing happened," Rey reiterated again while Rose helped her put on her breastplate.

"Are you sure? There were no sexual innuendos? No hand holding?"

"No." Rose's pestering had been going on for hours it seemed, and she was slowly regretting her decision to make Rose her squire this year. At least Poe wasn't here. Lord knows that man would have only escalated the conversation tenfold.

Rey motioned to her vambraces that sat already on the ground next to her suitcase filled with her armor.

"Arms," she said as Rose started shuffling through her case not even realizing they were sitting right next to her. She was probably so preoccupied in trying to find every nonexistent gritty detail that she completely missed them.

"Right sorry." There was a lapse of silence where Rose was positioning and doing-up buttons, and Rey thought she might finally be out of this madhouse of a conversation until Rose said, "Please just give me one detail."

Hoping she might actually be able to end this Rey told her about how he saw her shirtless. She regretted her decision immediately.

"Oh my goodness! Did you plan that?! I bet the look on his face was priceless."

"I didn't. I had honestly thought I had enough time to fully change before he got back—"

Rose cut it. "But you didn't lock the door."

"I _forgot _to lock the door. Besides, it's not like it affected him in any way besides general uncomfortableness. He doesn't find me attractive so it really wasn't anything," She said as Rose grabbed her pauldrons.__

__"And how do you know that?" Rose's quirked eyebrow and tone of voice told Rey all she needed to know about what her friend thought. That he was in fact attracted to her, and that Rey was just too oblivious to see it._ _

__She really didn't want to relive that embarrassing night just to explain to her friend how she knew he wasn't so she said, "I just know."_ _

__Rose's resounding 'mmhmm' finally ended the conversation. She instead complained all about her time bunking with Finn and Poe. Rey couldn't help but think that maybe, _maybe _, if she didn't do anything stupid she might just be glad she got stuck with Ben.___ _

____Bee-Bee was all tacked up by the time they were done, royal blue caparison draped over his palomino coat. Bee was picture worthy thanks to Finn's wonderful grooming and finally, that giddy feeling of being at WIMASC hit her._ _ _ _

____She mounted and started warming up, taking a couple of practice runs, before stopping and heading over to Rose who gathered the step stool to unlatch her visor. It was a good thing Rey wasn't on a massive horse, otherwise, Rose would have had to grab a legitimate ladder to adjust or do anything with her armor._ _ _ _

____"Tell your boyfriend he either needs to not move when I'm trying to armor him up or he needs to get a new squire," Poe said as he stomped up next to Bee, rubbing the side of his face with his hand._ _ _ _

____"What?" Rey asked. She felt like she was missing something._ _ _ _

____"Ben," Rose added before Rey quickly reminded them he was not _her _anything.___ _ _ _

______Poe continued bickering about how ridiculous he was and how incredibly hard it was to put armor on a flailing object. Rey gave a confused look to Finn who handed her a water before saying, "Ben lost his squire this year. Poe drew the short straw."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I know he likes to be in control of every situation, shit I've known that since college, but I didn't think he was such a control freak that he would slap me upside the head with his armored up arm while telling me where to attach things. Like buddy, I've done this before. I got you, just please stop moving." He continued with his ramblings._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You take him, Rose. Lord knows you have more patience than me." Poe added huffing out a sigh._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Nuh uh, nope. You're friends with him. I'll just have Rey talk some sense into him so maybe he won't knock you out," she said._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Oh, and see if he can be a little less... yell-ly," Finn added._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Seriously, what makes any of you think anything I say has any sort of influence on him? What even makes you think I'm going to say anything?" They all just exchanged some sort of look._ _ _ _ _ _

______Some unspoken look._ _ _ _ _ _

______It irked her._ _ _ _ _ _

______"What?" Rey asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______They just smiled._ _ _ _ _ _

______Someone called from behind her asking if she wanted to do any passes so Rey got prepared to joust and went and did what she did best._ _ _ _ _ _

______~~~_ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey had a feeling that there was a reason she was the one who was picked to bunk with Ben. It wasn't that anyone hated Ben, in fact, many people liked Ben, but they tended to like him more when he wasn't yelling insults at everyone._ _ _ _ _ _

______Okay, she had to be fair. They weren't insults as much as constructive criticism, without the constructiveness. In his defense, Mitaka was riding like an idiot and blaming his horse for his mistakes (which was a pet peeve of Rey's) but that didn't mean he couldn't tone it down just a bit. Explicitly saying he either needed to ride correctly or get off his fucking horse wasn't exactly advised._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was a common thing for Ben, it came with the territory. You just expected him to get after those who didn't know what they were doing. And really he was just keeping everyone safe. Sure, his ways of educating those people weren't the best, but as long as they tried he was nice. Helped them._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey couldn't deny Finn's request though. The man did need to be a little less loud._ _ _ _ _ _

______Maybe that's why when Rey walked into the barn to give Bee his supplements for the evening she was surprised to see Ben cuddled up to his horse._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You're the best bud. You want behind your ear scratched?" Ben said in what appeared to be that classic animal speaking tone. Rey never thought she'd see the sight, much less hear his voice in that pitch. It did something to her. "Ooh ho does that feel good?" He continued as Rey died a little more._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well, look at this. I didn't even know your vocal cords could reach a pitch that high," Rey said as she leaned on Silencer's opened stall door._ _ _ _ _ _

______She could've sworn the tips of his ears got red._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Like you don't do the same."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Oh no, I'm not denying that I do it, but I am also not a six-three ex-marine," Rey quipped, smiling at him as he gave Silencer one more pat on the neck before leaving him to eat._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Are you ready for Leander's?" He asked, changing the subject. Rey was beyond ready for the classic barbecue place they always went to on the second day of WIMASC._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Always. I intend to eat my heart out." He chucked at her response. Rey was never one to pass down food and she prepared by wearing her stretchy pants. "I'm fucking starving," she added. "I hope Tem doesn't take four hours to leave again. I'm not sure my stomach can take it."_ _ _ _ _ _

______She started preparing Bee's grain and he walked over to her hay pile._ _ _ _ _ _

______"How many flakes does he get?" Ben asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______Somehow a strange comfortability had formed between them. It was dangerous, and yet Rey couldn't help but respond, "Two."_ _ _ _ _ _

______She was playing a very dangerous game. Very dangerous indeed._ _ _ _ _ _

______Her current competitor was herself. The traitorous brain of hers that got Rey into trouble in the first place._ _ _ _ _ _

______Being too comfortable around him led to her saying things. Things that did not need to be said._ _ _ _ _ _

______Finn rushed in saving her from the possibility of doing exactly that right as she finished giving Bee-Bee his grain._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Tem is having everyone hustle to their cars. He is leaving now so let's go," he motioned to her truck that was pulled in front of the barn, Rose occupying the driver's seat._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'll head over to my truck," Ben said as they walked up to Rey's vehicle._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Just get in. We're all going to the same place and we have an extra seat," Rose chimed in a tone of voice that didn't really give Ben many options._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey would have really liked it if she didn't have to sit in the middle of the backseat, knees (and practically everything else) bumped up against Ben even with his attempts to not touch her. Ben even went without a seat belt, just for the mere fact that he didn't even want to chance touching her butt._ _ _ _ _ _

______That's how bad it was. He would risk potential death in a car crash just to not touch her._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey felt like she hadn't breathed until they parked in the beloved parking lot. The truck that she once bought for its size and spaciousness felt too small. Rey guessed that tended to happen when you were squished between two men with incredibly thick thighs one of which were so scrunched up she wondered how he didn't impale himself with his knees._ _ _ _ _ _

______It wasn't quite fair to make Ben sit behind Poe who was blissfully unaware of just how uncomfortable he was and have Finn sit behind Rose who gave backseat riders ample amount of leg room._ _ _ _ _ _

______Funny how Ben could yell at riders for hours because they don't know diddly squat but didn't have the guts to ask Poe if he could scoot his seat up._ _ _ _ _ _

______Yes. Funny how that was._ _ _ _ _ _

______Just another thing to add to the list of 'things that make Ben, Ben'._ _ _ _ _ _

______They walked into the restaurant waiting for the rest of their party to get there— specifically Temmin who, although orchestrated this tradition, was always late. Which was a problem considering he was that paid the bill as a thank you to everyone who traveled from all over the countryside to help him host this behemoth of a 'party'._ _ _ _ _ _

______And a party it was indeed, considering the copious amount of alcohol consumed within the first four days, and the actions that came with that._ _ _ _ _ _

______Luckily, Tem arrived shortly after they did and the massive group got ushered to the back room where they took up two massive tables._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey was strategically placed between Ben and a wall, a seating arrangement she felt her friends sort of subtly forced them into._ _ _ _ _ _

______She was then forced to think about Ben for the rest of the evening because he was right there saying something about Sophocles and his plays and it was hard not to notice how passionate he got about shit Rey knew nothing about._ _ _ _ _ _

______His hands were right there too. They did the most mundane things, like fucking picking up a fork, and yet Rey couldn't help but stare._ _ _ _ _ _

______There was a scar on his right hand. It ran between the valley of his first and second knuckle and down to the tip of his wrist. She wondered how he got it. What kinds of things they did._ _ _ _ _ _

______What things they could do to her._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Earth to Rey," Finn said from across the table motioning his hand in front of her face like a middle-schooler._ _ _ _ _ _

______He caught her in the act._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes, sorry."_ _ _ _ _ _

______She joined the conversation once again and actually held it this time, trying her hardest not to look at the man next to her._ _ _ _ _ _

______He made it very difficult._ _ _ _ _ _

______His eyes were always on her when she spoke, and although it was polite, she really wished he wouldn't look at her. Not when those deep chocolate eyes got her saying stupid things. Not when they were so beautiful she could get happily lost in them forever._ _ _ _ _ _

______A number of drinks later she was still thinking about Ben (no surprise there) and was trying to find a way out of it. They would be back on the property soon, and once she escaped from the cramped vehicle and everyone scrambled back to their cabins she would be left alone with him._ _ _ _ _ _

______That was a recipe for disaster._ _ _ _ _ _

______They walked back to their cabin together, trudging along to the grass far away from all the others._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was a nice night. Cool enough that she could comfortably sit outside and not sweat, but not so cold that she needed to bundle to keep warm. She had, however, sweat during their practice. How could she not have, she was wearing about eighty pounds of armor._ _ _ _ _ _

______She would have to trudge back to the showers once she grabbed her bag._ _ _ _ _ _

______Another downside to staying in the cabin she guessed._ _ _ _ _ _

______The walk was spent in silence. Just feet hitting grass and rustles of leaves in the background._ _ _ _ _ _

______Thankfully not a word was said until they entered the cabin._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I going to go shower," Ben said as he walked in, bee-lining to his bag to grab his bag._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Wait for me!" Rey cried as he opened the door to head out, bag in hand._ _ _ _ _ _

______"What?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm going to shower with you." It wasn't until Ben visibly blanched that Rey realized the possible implications of her words. "No, not shower with you, but go to the showers and shower at the same time. In two different stalls." This was exactly what Rey wanted to avoid. This awkward rambling and word phrasing and just overall embarrassing crap she somehow couldn't go two full days without expelling._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ben just stood in silence for a moment as her brain ran a million different circles in her head._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well come on then."_ _ _ _ _ _

______She scrambled through the door that Ben held open for her not daring to look at him._ _ _ _ _ _

______They started their trudge._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I just didn't want to walk alone," Rey said, filling the silence._ _ _ _ _ _

______"You're not alone." She knew he meant because he was now walking with her, but Rey let her brain wander to the unrealistic meaning she wished he meant by that._ _ _ _ _ _

______She felt the need to tell him the same. "Neither are you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______He looked at her then, all somber eyes and gentle expressions and she wondered how she could ever hate him. Remembered why she had to try to._ _ _ _ _ _

______They walked right past the dock by the lake. The location that haunted her brain since that night._ _ _ _ _ _

______What they said._ _ _ _ _ _

______That was why she had to try. He told her that he didn't want to be friends with her anymore, that casually hanging out was killing him slowly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey didn't let him finish when he spoke the words. Instead, she rambled into some random monologue of how she felt the same and how she needed to take a break from him because he was 'too much'. All of this ridiculous crap she whipped up as a defense mechanism from rejection._ _ _ _ _ _

______The thought that night she would finally tell him how she felt. She did technically, but it was all some elaborate lie._ _ _ _ _ _

______She had hoped to tell him how she truly felt._ _ _ _ _ _

______That was impossible now._ _ _ _ _ _

______A familiar wetness trickled down her face. Rey hastily wiped away her tears, praying Ben didn't notice._ _ _ _ _ _

______She let her hand fall, and warm calloused fingers intertwined with hers._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ben said nothing._ _ _ _ _ _

______They just trudged hand in hand until they reached their destination._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is getting squished into a vehicle a cliché? I feel like it's a cliché.. 
> 
> Yeah, pretty sure I read that in a fic. Multiple fics. Hey its not my fault Ben is so big and it is just so easy to make his life miserable by cramming him into tight spaces. 
> 
> If you have any questions about the armor of jousting bit of the story feel free to ask me! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading my ridiculousness♥


	4. It's a Small World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agahhh I'm sorry! I am a week late. I have just been working like a maniac and have had absolutely zero free time. Horse shows are killing me. 
> 
> Anywho, here you are. I hope you enjoy♥

Nothing was said about the night before.

It was almost as if it didn't happen, except for the fact that if Rey thought about it long enough she could still feel the imprint of his hand on hers.

Not that she was truly thinking about it.

See, this was the sort of stuff that screwed with her brain. All the signs made her feel like Ben could possibly reciprocate what she is feeling. The tiny bit of logical brain shut it down before she could go crazy and say anything (thank god) but it didn't stop the thought from resurfacing.

That and so many others.

She most definitely wasn't going to think about all the other things those hands could do besides hold hers.

It wasn't like she had this talk with herself a million times already.

That may have been why she was in such a pissy mood when she woke up. A mood she forced upon herself, yes, but a mood nonetheless.

"You good?" Finn asked as he plopped down across from her with his breakfast.

"Yeah."

"Okay, well your staring at your french toast like it just murdered your horse, so if you are going to try to convince us I'd consider rearranging your facial expression," he added taking a bite of his sausage.

"Fuck off." It wasn't a rude remark. Finn knew he was being a smartass, but that was what she loved about him. "I haven't finished my coffee yet."

The rest of the crew sat down at their chosen table for that morning, and conversation struck. She was grateful her friends' voices were there to get her mind off of how incredibly fucked she was. That was until they screwed her over in the worst possible way.

Ben had just gotten back from taking care of Silencer, got his plate, and was being summoned by all her friends to come and sit with them.

So he rationally sat next to Rey, seeing as how that was the only seat available, and tortured her endlessly until they were done eating.

It wasn't even like he deliberately trying too. He was just there. Just breathing, and that was enough.

Rey didn't talk the rest of the meal. Thankfully no one commented on it. She could chalk it up to a lack of sleep, possibly even a hangover if she tried hard enough. One thing was for certain though. She wasn't going to share that her general pissiness was sexual frustration caused by the one and only Ben Solo.

Nope. Not happening.

Surely there was some sort of meditation to get rid of this. Some way of calming her body so she doesn't get any urges. Whether that be to chop off his noggin or to come with his name on her lips.

Why'd he have to be so damn tall? So _damn _attractive.__

__Why?_ _

__Wasn't that the question of the year, the past five years._ _

__Normally the second official day at WIMASC was nice and laid back. It was a little break before the insanity of the next few days. They would get the rest of their stuff put up, maybe spar a little, and then play games and get totally wasted in the evening._ _

__It was normally perfect. One of Rey's favorite days._ _

__It wasn't this year. Not when it gave her, Ben, and everyone else downtime for ages. Because when Rey has this whole Ben issue on her brain, downtime is only an instigator for disaster. It's like giving a little kid a sharpie and leaving it unsupervised. Sure, there's a chance the kid might not get the cap off, might not draw over the walls with it. But that is the least likely scenario._ _

__She quickly finished eating her meal and bustled off to take care of her pony._ _

__Before long she was joined by everyone else and their cousins, all getting prepared to go on a ride._ _

__Rey followed suit, not wanting to wait to get in the saddle. She'd have something else to focus on, and riding was one of the quickest ways to brighten her mood._ _

__Ben sauntered into the barn in that 'I am six three and built like a brick wall' way of his just as Rey started to groom Bee-Bee._ _

__He walked over to her._ _

__She internally screamed._ _

___No. I've got to find a way to deal with this before tonight. Suck it up buttercup, he is just a man. ____ _

____Unfortunately, he was a man. And one that just so happened to steal her heart unintentionally, lock it away, and throw it into the lake._ _ _ _

____She really should resort to plan C._ _ _ _

____"Hey Bee," he said as he scratched Bee-Bee's forehead. "You wouldn't happen to have any grooming supplies I could borrow, would you? I'm ninety-nine percent sure I left mine on my tack trunk at home."_ _ _ _

____"Uh, yeah. My trunks open. They should be on the right."_ _ _ _

____"Thanks."_ _ _ _

____See? She could handle a simple conversation. That went well. Better than well actually. She kept her composure, he went on his way, and she didn't say any of the shit she was thinking like a good functional human being._ _ _ _

____"You're okay right?" Ben asked a little while later as he returned her grooming bucket. His eyes peered through the stall door tenderly as she tightened Bee's girth. There it was again. The expression that made her think he actually cared._ _ _ _

____"Yes, I'm good."_ _ _ _

____Ben just nodded, lingering by the stall as if he had more to say before finally walking away._ _ _ _

____All the thoughts rushed to her brain the second he disappeared behind the stall wall. It was as if she held her breath when walking past a particularly nasty trash can and just let it out, all the oxygen finally filling her lungs._ _ _ _

____So she'd just have to suffocate any sort of mental functions to survive around him._ _ _ _

____She needed some sort of mantra to think continuously when she was graced with his presence. Maybe a tongue twister, or some obnoxious song._ _ _ _

____Rey decided upon singing "It's a Small World" on a loop, in hopes that further torturing herself was the remedy._ _ _ _

____She hopped on Bee, and Ben followed suit shortly after, leading Silencer to the mounting block._ _ _ _

____He had a riding helmet on and his hair poofed out of the back. Helmet floof was going to kill her slowly._ _ _ _

____She started singing her mantra in her head._ _ _ _

____Luckily, they parted ways shortly after to go and work on whatever they chose with their ponies._ _ _ _

____Rey had been riding for about thirty minutes before deciding upon going on a couple of trails with some of the others. She had gotten the collection she wanted out of Bee and was impressed with how great he gave her lead changes so she thought a little reward was in order._ _ _ _

____Jannah and Zorri trotted up alongside her, Zorri's quarter horse, who she came to know as Dio, plodding along quietly next to her. She was grateful that Ben was sophisticated in his training ways and was still working with Silencer on perfecting his pirouette._ _ _ _

____Ben was an amazing rider. Everyone at WIMASC knew that. He was incredibly versatile, training in about a million different disciplines, and Rey was probably one of the closest people to his level of knowledge at the event._ _ _ _

____That didn't stop her from wanting to learn more. You never stopped learning in the horse industry, and after Luke decided to retire and live on some farm out in Montana she was at a loss for a teacher._ _ _ _

____Ben had learned all that Luke knew, plus some. He spent years with Andrew Snoke, a trainer whom Rey and many others despised._ _ _ _

____He was terribly cruel in his methods, but renowned nonetheless. Rey remembered the night that Ben told her about all of his experiences, that first year at WIMASC, back before he had left Snoke. They had argued all evening about Snoke's methods before he offered to teach her._ _ _ _

____He left Snoke the following month._ _ _ _

____She wondered if she was the reason he left._ _ _ _

____She wondered if his offer still stood._ _ _ _

____They passed Ben on their way to one of the trails, Jannah and Zorri chatting about how great the property was. Sure enough, there he was, working with Silencer as she presumed._ _ _ _

____He slowed to a walk as they passed, his gloved hand patting Silencer on the neck rewarding him for his good work. Ben glanced up at them and waved._ _ _ _

____"How long have you two been together?" Jannah asked as they passed the last cabin, their cabin._ _ _ _

____"Huh?" Rey asked, confused by the question._ _ _ _

____"You and Ben."_ _ _ _

____Oh. _Oh. _____ _ _

______"We're not together," Rey snapped. Realizing her defensive tone she added softly, "We're just friends." That was technically a lie, considering Ben didn't want to be her friend but that was the best explanation she had._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Oh, sorry! I just assumed I guess, since y'all are in the same cabin—"_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Phasma and Klaud are in the same cabin and they aren't an item." She had to be nicer on them, really. It wasn't their fault they assumed something. It wouldn't be the first time. She recalled back to her first year when she thought Hux and Jessika were an item, they hadn't snapped at her when she asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______Maybe that was because neither one of them had feelings for one another. It was mutual._ _ _ _ _ _

______She wished she shared Ben's dislike, that would make things so much easier. She could live with being friendly toward him, common courtesy's shared, but this one-sided attraction. It was hell in so many ways._ _ _ _ _ _

______"We're sorry."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"No... no. I apologize, I'm being harsh on y'all. I'm just in a funk today."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Well in any case, we can tell he likes you very much. You're a good friend. He is visibly happier when you're around," Zorri said._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey didn't know what to do with this information, just reeling off of the fact that she knew Ben. Knew that what they said couldn't be the case._ _ _ _ _ _

______You can't basically say you hate someone and have another person else tell you otherwise, so either they were wrong or Ben liked to play mind games and fuck people over._ _ _ _ _ _

______She tried to suppress that feeling, hoping she could just forget the words said and throw herself back in time. Rey had to get back on track and follow her plans, or else everything would fall apart._ _ _ _ _ _

______She failed at staying casual. Failed at being nice. Not when she was so out of control of the situation that any time Ben so much as spoke she wanted to slap him across the face._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey was back to her snappy self. A part of her, mind you, that she hated deeply._ _ _ _ _ _

______There was no way he was screwing with her. No way. Jannah and Zorri must have just read him wrong._ _ _ _ _ _

______That didn't excuse what he told her last year though._ _ _ _ _ _

______Or the fact that they'd held hands last night._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was too much. All of it. There was no left from right in her head, no direction. It all blended together and left Rey confused and frustrated with both herself and the situation. There was no way she could currently unscramble it._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was a good thing there were other ways to get rid of her frustrations._ _ _ _ _ _

______~_ _ _ _ _ _

______Phasma had prepared for a sparring lesson, another tradition at WIMASC. Rey quickly pulled on her fencing helmet and picked up her synthetic longsword. Everyone had been messing around for a while when Ben decided to interrupt her and Phas and ask to butt in. This was a dangerous ground Rey walked on. Her sword fighting skills weren't bad by any means, but Ben had been doing this for way longer than her. Plus he was about a head taller and weighed much more._ _ _ _ _ _

______That never stopped her before though._ _ _ _ _ _

______Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch them, not a wholly uncommon occurrence considering everyone knew about their rival competitiveness._ _ _ _ _ _

______She had beat him in the mounted melee a couple of times before, but this was entirely different._ _ _ _ _ _

______They faced off, and she started on the offensive._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey wasn't an amateur, but she sure as hell felt like one as she tried again and again to land any sort of blow. She quickly realized Ben wasn't actually trying._ _ _ _ _ _

______That was apparent the second he actually started attacking._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey was struck within seconds, extraordinarily grateful for the padding that protected her body._ _ _ _ _ _

______She glared at him from underneath her fencing mask._ _ _ _ _ _

______None of their audience seemed to care about her defeat, seeing as to them all of this was just for fun, but Rey knew her opponent wouldn't share their carelessness._ _ _ _ _ _

______No, Ben would pick on her for this she was sure. Rey would never hear the end of it. His smug smile was apparent even now._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Here," he said as he neared her, closing one hand around her lower arm. The pressure was surprisingly soft and Rey hoped he couldn't hear her intake of breath through the chatter of those around them._ _ _ _ _ _

______He raised her arm and went into an explanation of what she could work on and where she slipped up. Ben was teaching her, and it was unexpected._ _ _ _ _ _

______It felt like one of those cliché moments where the couple goes to a putt-putt place and the boyfriend shows his significant other how to do it correctly by getting all close and wrapping his arms around her._ _ _ _ _ _

______That was this feeling._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rey hated how much she loved it. She knew she was reading into things, but her heart couldn't help but swell anyway._ _ _ _ _ _

______Slowly everyone else started to leave, probably heading to the showers or ponies before the kick off of their evening. It wasn't until Rose circled around, hair damp and in a new change of clothes, that they realized how long they'd been out there._ _ _ _ _ _

______"If you don't hurry up all the liquor will be gone," she said as she broke Rey out of her trance._ _ _ _ _ _

______Yes, Rey thought. She had been waiting for this evening ever since she woke up._ _ _ _ _ _

______Let's just hope Rey wouldn't do anything stupid under the likes of alcohol._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have the teaching cliché. You're welcome..
> 
> I wanted them to swordfight because, I mean just how could I not?   
> If any of yall are wondering, the melee they are referring to is an event where all the competitors gather in the arena on their horses, each of them holding a wooden club looking thing and hit each other until only one person stands. They have to get hit I think three times before being out if im not mistaken. Id have to ask @KyloRing just to be sure but im pretty sure that's how it works. 
> 
> If you have an questions be sure to comment
> 
> I love you all and thank you for reading! It means a lot and makes my heart so so happy! ♥


	5. I'm Not as Think as You Drunk I Am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVEEEEEE!!!
> 
> Well hello everyone who got this far (bless you) and welcome.   
> Work has been busy, so as a result fanfic got put on the back burner. I have chapters written in advance, but I still have to find the time to code and post and stuff. And im lazy... 
> 
> I am getting time off soon though, so I plan on posting and writing like a mad man!
> 
> Hope you enjoy ♥

Somehow Rey was convinced to play the one and only ‘twist stick game’ — which probably had an official name that no one remembered— against a six-foot-three monstrosity.

The odds were never in her favor.

She didn’t even know why she agreed to it. Why Ben agreed to it.

It was probably the alcohol.

The rules were simple: both players hold either end of a stick and try to turn it until their opponent lets go. It was like an advanced arm wrestle, except in this version the players could use any means necessary to turn the stick.

Rey once saw Finn go dead weight and watched as Phas hauled his arms up and pressed her foot into his shoulder like she was trying to pull a T-post out of the ground, or a stuck bucket out of another bucket. Finn still somehow won that round. Rey had no idea how he didn't have a head injury. 

There was a lot to be said about his grip strength after that.

Rey was working through her technique before taking one last sip of her honey mead and rushing over to the middle of the pavilion where the game would be played. She was practically skipping with excitement. She was ready to play any game the WIMASC folks prompted. 

Poe was the winner of the last round, victorious to Finn only because of his ridiculous mutterings that had everyone laughing their lungs out until Finn couldn’t breathe. He handed the stick to Ben just as she sauntered over putting her game face on.

It might be impossible to beat Ben but she sure as hell was going to try.

Rey smirked up at him as she wrapped her hands around the stick. Strategy was everything it seemed. She shimmied a little lower, for leverage sure, but it also helped that her tank top was particularly loose.

Strategy.

She knew he didn’t feel at all what she felt, but assets were assets and they still appeared to be useful.

Ben visibly gulped before Temmin called go. She gained about four inches in the first couple of seconds and surprisingly was able to maintain them.

Who knew, she might win after all.

After her significant gain in the game, Rey was determined to win, all prior doubtful thoughts set aside. She twisted her body around, not beneath dislocating a shoulder to win, and gained another two inches.

She decided leverage was her best bet at winning and snuck up right next to Ben in order to get enough space the turn the stick further.

He was breathing heavily next to her, puffs of air that tickled the shell of her ear.

Ben was very vocal in his frustration, adding a mix of grunts to his breaths.

Rey turned a little more and Ben’s hands followed. They twisted in what looked like a very painful position, but he said nothing. She realized she was almost completely turned around, and in a position that would have had Rey losing her mind had they been in any other situation.

Her ass was practically pressed up against his crotch.

Rey’s cheeks warmed, which she could most definitely blame on her exertion of energy while trying to take the stick, but they warmed nonetheless.

She had no clue how long they had been playing the game. Rey had muted all the cheers from her friends.

All that she could focus on was how incredibly turned on she was.

That completely fell to the forefront of her mind when Ben, who came up with a different strategy, flipped her onto the ground. He still somehow managed to set her down gently, all while straddling her body and trying to remove the stick that was now undoubtedly his.

She wasn’t giving up that easy. It didn’t matter her body was on fire now, embers sparking deep in her belly, or that her brain was screaming so much about the situation that she couldn’t think straight. Her hands knew what to do, and that was to hold on and not let go.

Ben started shifting lower and shifted her along with him. His arms were now on the floor, working on rotating the stick so she would be forced to release. Rey brought her knee up just enough to pin one of his massive arms down.

A look passed over his face, one Rey couldn’t identify, before Ben moved yet again and brought his face right between her legs to try to move them with his head.

Her body was going to catch fire. Rey could handle a lot, but she couldn’t handle this.

“Please Ben,” she muttered so no one could hear. Rey quickly realized just exactly how _that _could’ve sounded. “Please don’t go this way.”__

__Ben, who had yet to say a word during the whole game grunted and said rather loudly, temper flaring, “You’re still holding on! Let go.”_ _

__Rey wanted to. She really wanted to just let go. It would get her out of the dreaded situation, or position rather. Except she fought to hard in the beginning just to lose it all now, and what sort of start to the competition would it be if she let her rival win, even if it wasn’t at jousting. Ben was at least struggling a little if he had to say something as such._ _

__It meant she had a chance._ _

__She struggled to use her other leg to flip him fully over and pin him completely, but eventually, she managed._ _

__Ben’s curse in response made her smile brighter than she had all evening._ _

__Rey then readjusted her hands one at a time and got a new position on the stick. That gave her the advantage she needed to finally twist it enough to get it out of his hands._ _

__She rose victoriously to a scream of cheers and a new, much stronger, drink in hand (thank the heavens above)._ _

__Rey looked back and expected to see Ben raging. Instead, he just _looked _at her. There weren’t any words she could use to describe it. This look. All eyes and yet all everything else as well. It's like his face reconstructed itself to send a thrill through her body.___ _

____They held that gaze for a while before Ben spirited off to god knows where and Rey got lost in the congratulatory compliments of her friends._ _ _ _

____“Oh my god. That was… what the fuck _was _that?” Rose said as her and they shuffled to the edge of the pavilion. Her eyes were alight with some sort of mischievous glint that Rey didn’t want to spend too much time examining.___ _ _ _

______“That was the most sexual stick game I have ever seen. God, poor Ben you could just see the composure struggle on his face.” _Poor Ben? No, poor Rey. _Poe knew nothing of what Ben felt and Rey was sure if he did he would shut that overactive mouth of his. Rey felt like dying. “I’m sure Ben is jerking off somewhere right now after _that _.”_____ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What the _actual _fuck Poe?!” That was enough, Rey had it with her friends at this moment. She was already overstimulated by the current events of that evening and now was getting tortured by her friends' obliviousness to her situation.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She walked away, grabbed two more cups of mead and started on her way to go and see Bee-Bee._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________That was the medication she needed. Time alone, with her horse and her beloved, wonderful tasting, honey mead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________After lord knows how long Rey finally left the barn and decided to head back to the party. She had no clue how much time had passed, all she knew was that by the time she got back Ben was completely and utterly wasted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________No one had ever even seen Ben drunk before. This was a strange occurrence and one that Rey should surely pass up. She should just head to the cabin, get some sleep, and not ponder over everything. Rey realized that Ben would come stumbling into the cabin at some point that evening. Although she really looked forward to beating him this year she couldn’t do that if he broke his arm or some other extremity on his drunken trip back to their cabin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________So she stuck around._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________And Rey wondered why she kept getting into situations. It wasn’t like she was doing anything to prevent them from happening. Really she was at fault._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She really didn't know what to expect from a drunken Ben, but giggling fits of laughter and running around the Wren property weren’t it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Ben kept insisting he was not drunk and “merely tipsy” in a voice Rey never imagined was even possible to come out of a man of his size and stature. It was some key so high you couldn’t even reach it in the upper atmosphere. Everyone died laughing because although the WIMASC group may not be the brightest they all had enough sense to see that was clearly not the case. Rey spent about thirty minutes with Rose and Finn to try to convince him to go back to the cabin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________When Ben finally did stand, if you can call it that, they thought they had finally won their argument. They might have too if it weren’t for the fact that just as Rey shuffled under him to become his makeshift crutch-lean-on-thingy Temmin came over with Poe and thought it would be funny to see if they could walk in a straight line. Poe, who was right on the edge of jumping off into the drunken pool but not quite there could in fact walk in a straight line. He could also dance like no one's business. Ben could do neither of those things. When he tried to walk he almost ended up face first in an open cooler._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Okay, you need to get back to the cabin. Come on.” Surprisingly enough Rey preferred this current state of Ben to the former version. This one would likely not remember if she did anything stupid and would have his fair share of dumb revel in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________His hair hung down into his face, messy and carelessly managed. It was so unlike the Ben she knew who insisted on getting the top half of his luxurious mane braided every time he jousted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________There was some sort of beautiful innocence in this Ben._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Somehow he managed to stand up and the next thing Rey knew she was running, Finn and Rose trailing behind her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She was able to keep him in her sights, long legs flicking up and practically hitting his back like a child who just got let out for recess. It was a miracle that he didn’t fall and bust his face open. Maybe he would be graced with another sexy scar, though that would likely not be the case._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey knew the direction they were heading._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She had a bad feeling about this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________When they finally caught up to him Ben was in the jousting arena, hugging the lance rack._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“They are so beautiful,” he squealed like an eight-year-old girl in an American Girl Doll store. Rey was surprised he wasn’t crying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Finn and Rose stood there cracking up as Rey tried to suppress her laughter. It was a shame no one was getting it on video._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They stayed like that long enough for Ben to get another grand idea. He grabbed one of the lances and started running around with it. He reminded her of the kid off of vine with a knife running around a pool. It was one that Rey saw often in YouTube compilations she watched aimlessly on nights she couldn’t sleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Let’s joust!” Ben shouted as he ran toward the tilt with his lance._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No, Ben let’s not!” Both Finn and Rose shouted as they again tried to corral him in order to get the lance._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You are all just angry because I’d beat you all,” he said as he slipped through a crack in their human wall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re not even on a horse right now, and you— no weapons Ben, no weapons You are drunk!” Rey was trying to articulate the unimaginable to him but he just kept on running. Rey bolted after him, cursing Ben internally as her lungs burned from the exertion and the fact she was laughing her ass off. Rey hated running, and it appeared tonight she’d be doing lots of it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I am tipsy!” He yelled back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Ben, stop!” Despite her hopes, the command didn’t work. He bolted toward the trailers on the other end of the property, lance swinging wildly in his arms. Rey quickly checked behind her to make sure Finn and Rose were following. Thankfully, they were and also had the sense to go around the trailers in order to sandwich Ben between them like the stereotypical cops vs. villain scene in every police show Rey had binged._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Unlike those criminals, Ben wasn’t particularly quiet, so at least they had that going for them. Just follow the giggles, and you would find him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________There was a loud bang that came from somewhere behind her. She really hoped there would be no property damage this evening, she didn’t want to explain how he somehow managed to impale both a tree and a trailer to a much sober, likely hungover, Ben in the morning._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey ran toward the direction it came only to find the lance leaning over onto Ben’s trailer, with no Ben in sight. “Shit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“He there?” Rey heard Rose yell from around the corner._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No.” She yelled back, grabbing the lance to return it to the rack._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Her friends joined her, laughing historically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I hope he doesn’t drown in the lake,” Finn said through a myriad of coughing giggles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I wasn’t even thinking about that,” Rey really hoped he didn’t get any ideas of swimming. Surely he had enough common sense not to. “Guys we have to find him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rose looked over at her, a single eyebrow raised. “You owe us big time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Why do I owe you?” Rey hated owing her friends anything. They always called in their debts with the worst possible payment. “You didn’t have to help me get him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re the reason he is drunk.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Pshhh.” It was all she could say. A response not suited to anything much other than dismissal. And that was what it was. Dismissal. She couldn’t imagine Ben getting worked up enough over anything involving her to get this plastered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Aah ah, no. You don’t get to dismiss me. Someone ran off and didn’t witness the undoing of our favorite knight.” Rose continued as they finally arrived back to the jousting arena, returning the precious goods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And what makes you think it was me? He could have just wanted to let loose a little.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m not saying that isn’t a reason. I’m just saying he kept glancing toward the barn every ten seconds.” Rey looked over at Finn to find confirmation in Rose’s words. He nodded his head lightly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And every time you were mentioned more liquor was passed around,” Finn added._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Well, what about Jessika. We all know she spikes drinks.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yes, but it still wouldn’t matter because you were the reason he even got anything to begin with.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey knew she wasn’t going to win this argument. She kept reminding herself they didn’t have all the facts either._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They got back to the dining tent with still no sight of Ben. Rey was exhausted. She told them as much, changing the subject._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Then go back to the cabin. If he comes around again, or rather runs around in a fit of giggles we’ll have someone help him back to the cabin,” Rose replied as she reached back into the cooler._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And if he is somewhere between here and your cabin, or already there, then just text us,” Finn added, voicing more reason to her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Okay,” she said as she started walking away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Night peanut!” They both called out after her. She waved her hand behind in a tired gesture of her goodbyes, leaving the party to go to whatever hours they wanted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________This was the first time she was glad for being put in Ben’s cabin, it was at least far way so she wouldn’t hear the noise from nights like this. Rey just hoped her roommate wouldn’t show up puking his guts out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She laughed at her idea of sleep as she made her way to the cabin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the game that they play is actually really fun. I think it was originally a Boy Scout thing? Correct me if I am wrong.
> 
> I am assuming you all caught my canonical reference. Its got a little twist to it. Get it, twist. Because of the game. I just caught that. Okay... I stop now


	6. Tickles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what im doing 
> 
> I don't know what im doing 
> 
> I don't know what im doing 
> 
> oh de do da day

Rey didn’t even make it as far as the cabin before she was graced with Ben’s presence. He was over by what everyone called the “castle”, which was really just two turrets that were so rotted it felt like the stick house in the three little pigs. One breath and the whole thing would come crumbling down.

That didn’t stop Rey from running up the castle stairs, carefully avoiding the holey steps, to make sure Ben didn’t die because he fell through the floor or over the very unsturdy railing.

She wouldn’t have even noticed him if she hadn't looked over, he was so quiet. It was surprising, especially considering just how… flamboyant he had been that evening.

“Hey,” he muttered as he sat down on the floor of the castle.

She neared him, wondering just why exactly drunk Ben decided to come here of all places. “You still drunk?”

“Tipsy,” He corrected. He might actually be now.

“Ah right, tipsy.” She smiled as he looked over at her. His hair was a mess, strands of it sticking to his face. It was funny that these were the moments she found him the most attractive. It was the mundane, the domestic, that drew her in and wanted to make her stay forever.

Rey could tell something was on his mind. She could tell by the way his eyes moved and his face shifted, as if there was an internal battle raging and the only way anyone in the outside world knew was because his eyebrows twitched in that Ben way of his. It was funny that even against her wishes she couldn’t help but be drawn to him like a magnet, or a moth to a flame.

He was gazing at her now. That was the only word she could think to use to describe his eyes in that moment. Gazing. The expression almost made her believe he could see into her soul, see through all the lies she formulated to make him believe she never felt what she was feeling now. Want.

She was playing a dangerous game with herself and her limits.

Rey drew her eyes away from his, which were still looking at her, toward the lake. Remembering Plan C she stood up and tried to shake the feeling he gave her off her body, which had since lit with flames.

“Come on,” she said as she lowered her hand to help him up. “How in the world did you get up here without impaling yourself or falling through?” Rey was scared to walk up the castle and she was only half the size of him.

“What’s to say I didn’t?” Ben replied as he lifted his shirt revealing the pale skin on his lower torso that was scratched up to high heavens. It was all red and irritated with little strips of skin that rose away from the scratches. It reminded Rey of when she was younger and climbed a tree to get away from her foster dad. Her hands were so scratched up from the bark that she had spent what felt like hours picking at all the stray peeled back flesh.

He was bleeding lightly.

“You’re letting me doctor you when we get back.” Rey only got a mumbled grunt in response as he stood and she dragged him along.

“I am, am I?” He said, quirking an eyebrow up at me.

There was a glint in his eyes, one that Rey had seen many times before, only in different men. That flirtatious look that only meant trouble.

She hoped drunk Ben wasn’t a flirt as well. She felt like she was going through the five stages of grief, only instead of grief, it was the five stages of ‘how the fuck am I going to survive this evening’ as he ever so slowly creeped out of his drunken stupor.

Rey definitely wasn’t going to survive if he kept this up.

Granted she already had an inkling that was going to be the case, riding on his inebriated state not granting him the gift of memories in the morning was the only thing that kept her from getting in the truck and going to a hotel for the evening.

“Yes.”

“And if I resist?” He said. Ben was toying with her, testing some waters and fucking with her head. Fuck this. He didn’t like her. How could he, with her lanky limbs and gummy smile. He made it clear, and yet this shit happened and made her believe differently, as if the past never happened.

She was trying so hard not to say anything that could even remotely give in to his charms. Rey didn’t want to. She didn’t.

Then again she didn’t have much control over her brain right now.

“Then I’ll wrestle you to the floor and make sure you let me.”

A small smile crept onto his face. “I would very much like to see that.”

Don’t say it. Don’t say— “That just might have to be arranged then.”

Dammit.

The wrestle with her words was hopeless. It was like expecting her to lift a building or swim to the bottom of the ocean. It was physically impossible. Her resort of leaving was sort of out of the picture now that she convinced herself to stay and undeniably got herself into this position.

It was fine.

Playfully flirting with the man you have been pining after for five years who you know nothing will ever happen with is totally fine. Right?

“Come on, let’s head back to the cabin you dork.” And now she was a schoolgirl. Dork? Seriously? He was a doofus but that didn’t mean she had to say ridiculous terminology like an idiot.

They started their walk down the rickety steps, Rey almost hoping maybe she could just fall through. Then she wouldn’t have to control the insanity that was her brain and hormones currently.

She drew out her phone to use as a flashlight when Ben— who had followed behind her— rested his palm on the small of her back. Her first thought was about just how freaking big his hands were. It wasn’t a shock, she had held his hands before and seen just how easily they engulfed a lance or sword, but feeling them on a place where they are not usually held gave her an entirely different feeling.

Rey stopped right where she was, phone long forgotten.

Ben leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder as he whispered, “Please don’t fall.”

But she already had. Rey had fallen so hard that if her emotions were a tangible action every bone in her body would be broken from the plummet down.

She was in the earth's core. That sure explained the heat she felt all throughout her body.

“Got it.” The words barely came out.

There were no words the rest of the way back to the cabin, not after miraculously getting off of the castle in one piece. Rey thought she would be more grateful for the lapse of silence, instead, she cringed to the lack of sound. Awkward energy just filled the air around them until the wooden door swung open to welcome back.

Yellow light flooded the front porch as Rey sat Ben down in a chair out front before rummaging through her bag to find the first aid kit. Once she found it and all its shining red glory she walked back out of their shared cabin and onto the front porch.

Crickets were chirping in the background, forming a peaceful melody that helped remind Rey just how not serene her mind was right now. She could maybe relate it to crickets if she envisioned them bouncing around in her head and not giving a flying fuck. Ben still sat in the chair, head tilted back and eyes closed. Maybe he was actually at peace, just him and the crickets. She shouldn’t even be there, not when Ben was likely enjoying this quiet moment without her ramblings.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and she realized she had been staring for too long contemplating things that were renowned to make her head run until it hurt. Before she lost her nerve or talked herself out of it Rey scurried over to him and started removing his shirt in a frantic rush, hands fumbling as she tore the garment of clothing up over his head before Ben had a chance to figure out what was going on.

His chin got stuck on the collar of it, and then his nose. A blind Ben finally reached out to grab hold of her wrists and stop her attempts the dreaded piece of clothing.

“If you wanted me naked you could have just asked,” he said as he removed her hands from his shirt whilst officially getting the thing off of his head.

“And what part of removing your shirt tells you I want to see you naked?” Rey would very much like to see him naked, but that was beside the point. She was to stick to plan— what was it? A? B?— and just remain casual and calm.

Casual and calm.

“Well, wasn’t that the plan all along?” Rey paused, totally struck by his ability to read through her before she saw it. That thing in his eyes, shift in his face, that reminded her that he was still, in fact, drunk and that it was a joke. She was surprised she had forgotten about his state.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t running around like a lunatic.

Regardless, she was thankful. That meant he likely didn’t see her pause and wouldn’t be able to read through her very poorly placed mask she half-assedly put back on to hide her true feelings.

“Quit being a flirt and let me clean your scrapes.”

Ben responded by leaning back in the chair and sighing, she took that as the only answer she needed and got to work.

Rey didn’t have to be doing this. She didn’t have to put herself in the prime position for internal screaming and conflicting mental images, which only turned the conflict withing her to full blast. But dammit if she didn’t enjoy it… just a little.

She ran her hands over his torso gingerly, being careful of the scraped skin and clotting scratches. Ben sharply inhaled and she wondered if she was hurting him in some way. It was a funny thought, considering she cut his face open accidentally two years back and yet he still jousted.

Rey asked him as much.

“No, It just um… tickles,” Ben said as she grabbed the rubbing alcohol. Rey could have never envisioned Ben being ticklish before this evening, but now as she lightly traced her fingers over his abdomen intentionally she couldn’t help but grin at his reaction. “I’m going to need you to ah-” he sharply inhaled again before continuing, “stop.”

“And why would I after all you put me through,” she snarked back, a full-blown, unabashed grin on her face. It was payback time. Sure, it wasn’t exactly the payback she’d expected but it was payback nonetheless.

Ben chuckled at the break in her tickling where she closed and stored the open bottle of rubbing alcohol to where it came. “All I put you through?” Another spout of laughter left his lips, though this time it sounded forced, unamused. Almost resentful. “Rey you—”

She didn’t let him finish, instead deciding upon relentlessly attacking him with tickles. Rey didn’t want to hear whatever words were going to come out of his mouth, already sensing their meaning. She didn’t want the lecture again.

It was a good thing she had finished with his scrapes because shortly after her barrage started he picked her up and swung her over her shoulder. Rey pounded on his back whilst screaming at him to put her down.

Rey realized that Ben that the WIMASC group probably had seen Ben drunk before, except they were just unable to recognize it.

He hid it so well that Rey had almost forgotten about just how much liquor he had, and how he was only a couple hours ago, while she doctored him up. He spoke almost perfectly, had similar mannerisms. Nothing was different.

Maybe Ben was able to put on the mask of a sober man when sitting still, but it wasn’t as easy to hide once he stood up.

Rey didn’t exactly feel unsafe, but the rational side of her brain was screaming safety lectures all while the horny side of her brain was screaming “oh fuck me please’s”.

It was very conflicting.

So Rey just stayed flung over him like a rug out to dry as he maneuvered into the cabin all while trying to find her ticklish spots. She squirmed in his arms, partly because he just got to behind her knees and that just so happened to be the one place she was ticklish, but the bigger reason being the fact that she wasn’t sure she could stop herself from doing some things.

He got the door open and started toward his bed and no no, danger zone danger zone!

Ben let her down onto the massive air mattress, so hard Rey bounced, before moving to get into a prime position to tickle her until her lungs gave out.

It also just so happened very close to prime position to fuck her blindly, also until her lungs gave out, but unfortunately, that wasn’t what was happening here.

He started his attack behind her knees and she squealed and tried to roll over so she could maybe get away by pressing her legs into the mattress, but he then straddled her further and she let out a gasp that wasn’t from being tickled.

She had to do something to get him back. He was winning, and Rey couldn’t stand it. Next thing she knew her hands were suspended and held there by Ben’s grasp, and he was unfortunately so tall that he was still able to get to her knees with his other arm as long as he scrunched a bit.

Luckily, he stopped.

Unluckily, he still had her pinned. Now with their shared breathes and the lack of tickles it was impossible to stop the heat that started in her core.

He was staring down at her, his big brown eyes filled with earnest. They stayed there for a moment, one long confusing fucking moment before he finally rolled off of her.

She loosed a breath and looked over at him, only to find him already staring.

“Now, do you want to try tickling me again sweetheart?”

Rey’s brain short fired at his words. There was absolutely nothing behind them, just a drunken flirtatious exclamation and yet his ‘sweetheart’ did something to her insides. She had to get out of this before she did something stupid.

They were still close enough to touch, both laying on his bed in a haphazard mess of limbs, and it took everything in her not to reach out and touch the scar that she gave him that lay so elegantly across his face.

She stood up abruptly before saying in a similar rushed manner, “Okay, well I better get to bed.”

He looked at her as she just paused there, totally frozen in her thoughts and actions like a deer in headlights, before she finally gathered the courage to scurry up the ladder to the loft.

Just as she laid down on her air mattress she heard his rustle of sheets.

“Goodnight Rey.”

“Goodnight Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this another trope to add to the list, I feel like its another trope to add to the list...
> 
> Oh well
> 
> This chapter to me is not one of my finest.. its, just. I honestly don't know. Is it filler? I guess its aimless filler. I apologize 
> 
>  
> 
> Either way, thank you all for reading. It means so much to me that people actually stick around to read this so thanks!♥


	7. Balanced Breakfast

“Fuck!” Ben’s cursed screaming was what finally jolted Rey awake, and not, in fact, her alarm. “Turn the damn thing off!

She realized it was her phone this morning that was blasting the lovely ‘wake up’ song. Rey was honestly extremely surprised that she hadn’t flung out of bed to Brian May’s guitar solo, especially considering the fact that her phone speaker was pressed right up against her ear. She reached over to silence it before Ben lost it and climbed up into the tiny loft himself to get it. 

Not that she would have really minded. 

“It’s off!” She called down to him. Ben was wrapped up in his blankets with a pillow pressed over his ear like a teenager being woken up by their parents’ off-key singing— not that Rey would have known what that was like. 

“You don’t say?” He griped. 

“Oiy! Someone’s a grouchy hungover man.” Rey was now peering down at him from the guard railings on the loft. His face was already stuck in what she assumed would be his permanent frown of the day. She did have to say he looked really exhausted. 

With his bedhead he also looked extremely adorable, something rather odd to say about a brick-wall-of-a-man.

“I’m just tired.” 

“Oh,” Rey added in her feigned ‘poor you’ voice. “Does the mighty Kylo Ren have a headache?” She said, using his SCA name.

“Kylo hasn’t had his coffee yet.” He looked up at her, as if waiting for some snarky response. 

Rey was never one to not deliver, “Oh the poor baby.” She spoke it in a yell, just to gauge his response. 

Ben grumbled and rolled over. “Fuck off.” Rey could have sworn she saw a creeping smile on his lips before he promptly covered his face with the pillow. Rey moved about silently on her bed in attempts to get organized for the day ahead. She grabbed her items out of her bag, which she apparently moved up to the loft the night before, made her bed as best she could in the tiny space, and grabbed her phone. 

She slowly made her way down the ladder, knowing that a sleep and caffeine deprived Rey and stairs weren’t a particularly good mix. She wasn’t stupid enough to overestimate her abilities of ladder climbing today. Any other day? Yeah, sure. Perfectly fine to break her neck from falling off of a ridiculously high loft, but competition day made her think through her life a little more than usual.

Once she made it to the ground safely she sat down on Ben’s bed and started unlacing her boots from slipping them off the night before. She gazed back at him as she slipped on her socks. He looked like he had passed out again. His hair was in his face, and Rey found it difficult not to stare at the softness that his features held when he was asleep. 

For a minute she let herself imagine a alternate world where she woke up to that face every morning and said goodnight to it every evening. 

Rey got such a strong urge to brush the hair out of his eyes that she actually lifted her hand an inch off the bed. 

Gaining that forward-thinking part of her brain back, she instead decided to drop her other sock and shake him into consciousness with both her hands.

“Wake up sleepy head. Face the repercussions of your ‘tipseyness’,” she said loudly into his ear. 

He didn’t budge. 

She moved over to him, straddling him so she could use her body weight to add more force to her pushes. Rey understood how bad an idea it was when she finally realized the position it put her in. 

Ben jolted awake. Well, jolted wasn’t exactly the right word, nor was awake since Rey came to the conclusion that he was probably conscious since her alarm that morning and she only thought he was asleep. 

He enveloped her in his tree trunk arms.

She squirmed there, not wanting to stop moving because the second she did Rey just knew she would melt into his warmth. Her brain would do things. 

Her body still had the response she desperately wanted to avoid. 

“Stop moving.”

“Let go of me then.” 

“I wasn’t the one who very rudely woke up someone trying to sleep.” 

“If you would have gotten up I wouldn’t have woken you.” 

“Oh you brat.” It wasn’t offensive. Rey could hear the smile coming through his words. That apparently didn’t mean he planned on releasing her anytime soon though.

She stopped squirming. 

Her theory was correct. It was in fact a bad idea. 

She could smell all of him like this, pressed up against his chest. He smelled like he did out of the shower, that same spicy sweetness that sang harmonies in her head, except it was infinitely better. It was a lived in scent now, and underneath that glorious smell there was something else. A scent distinctly Ben and Rey could bask in it all day. 

“We’re not going to win anything if we miss our first rounds because someone decided to be an idiot and not let me go,” Rey stated, trying not to completely lose herself to his him-ness. 

He grumbled but released her. 

The experience was so strange that Rey had a loss for words afterward. She quickly rushed out of the cabin with her clothes in hand only stopping to say a brief “I’m going to get ready” before literally running to the bathrooms. 

Her head was running around in circles trying to make sense of the last twenty-four hours. She pushed down thinking about it. Well, more like muffled it. It was as though she stuck a cup over the mouth in her head that spoke of the things, distorting the speaking, but really not changing the volume. 

She was beyond confused about her current place with Ben, his current place with her, but Rey was nothing if not diligent. She knew the easiest achievable way to get it off her mind, and that was to micro-focus on every other thing, preferably the big thought being the joust she’d have to do in a couple of hours. 

Rey dreadingly trudged back to the cabin, hoping that he’d already gotten ready so she could just acknowledge his presence and be on her way. 

She instead opened the door to a mostly naked Ben sitting on his bed putting socks on. 

“I… Jesus Ben!” She squealed. He was wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs, and half a sock. Not to mention he was practically sprawled across the bed like some stereotypical sexy pose. Rey was honestly surprised that one leg wasn’t crossed over the other and his head wasn’t propped up on his hand. 

Was this realistically even a possible way to put on socks?

Who puts socks on as the first part of their wardrobe? 

Rey just stood there in her best attempts to regain conscious thought because friends didn’t have thoughts like this and —oh god his underwear left nothing to the imagination. 

Nope. Abort mission. There was no way she would be able to stand normally for much longer. 

“What is this a slow strip act?” She asked, surprised she was even able to get words out. Distract yourself Rey, do something with your hands. She opted to climb back up into her loft that way she didn’t have to look at him. “The first day I walk in you don’t have a shirt on,” he harrumphed quietly before she continued. “And now you might as well be naked.” 

“I can make that happen.” 

The audacity. 

“Ha ha,” Her sarcasm was very evident. “Did the lock break?” She asked, face portraying the classic ‘I am done with this expression’. 

“No. I think I just haven’t gotten used to bunking with someone.” 

“Uh huh…” Rey sighed. “Just get dressed already. We need to be on in an hour.” 

“I am covering my ankles you know.” She gazed down at him. Just as Rey expected, a shit eating grin was plastered to his face. 

_This fucker. ___

__Despite her frustrations with him the bantering made her day. It was something that came easily in their friendship before it all went to shit. It was nice to fall back into the familiar pull and push of their jokes._ _

__Rey put her pj’s in her bag and went back down the ladder._ _

__“I expect to see you at breakfast in ten minutes,” she told him as she headed out the door._ _

__As the door clicked shut there was an audible crash followed by howling slew of curses, Rey assumed Ben had failed to get out of bed without stumbling over the suitcases possibly stubbing his toe on the table. She smiled and glanced down at her phone starting a timer for approximately ten minutes. By the time Rey had reached the pavilion Ben had only two minutes and forty-five seconds left._ _

__It wasn’t that he had to be there in ten minutes, she was just planning on needlessly picking on the hopelessly hungover never-drunk-in-his-life Ben Solo in any way she could for the rest of his life._ _

__They were serving waffles. Rey’s favorite._ _

__She walked over to the serving table, casually waving her good mornings to everyone as she passed, before grabbing the biggest waffle she could find and plopping it down onto her plate._ _

__One of the many reasons waffle day was her favorite day was because they always had a separate table filled with toppings for said waffle, and Rey was never stingy. She piled a miniature mountain of chocolate chips onto her waffle before slathering it with syrup. Two strawberries completed the meal because she felt guilty leaving without some form of nutrition._ _

__Her alarm went off just as she sat down adjacent to Poe and Rose, and surprisingly enough Ben appeared just a moment later. There was no way he could have made it there on time without running— though Rey couldn’t exactly say that because his legs were about the size of her body and he speed walked like a mom on a mission in a grocery store— and yet here he was walking into the pavilion casually strolling in as only one who knows he was plastered the night before could._ _

__“Hey! The life of the party finally showed up,” Poe said as he waved him over._ _

__Ben sauntered over to the serving table waving off Poe in a disgruntled huff and picked up a paper plate._ _

__“Ouch, that bad huh?” Poe said, turning over to her. There was a complete lack of sympathy in his voice though. Instead he sported an all knowing grin._ _

__“I’m assuming you found him after we gave up?”_ _

__“He was “storming the castle”,” Rey said as she took as big a bite she could, further elaborating by using air quotes._ _

__“Ah.”_ _

__Ben sat down next to her after collecting his breakfast and Rey had to hide the gentle smile that crept on her lips from her friends. There was just something magnetic about being in his presence. It made her brain fuzzy with happiness, rightness, whatever combination that filled the hole she kept in her heart, if only for a short while._ _

__She glanced over at his plate, expecting him to have custom ordered a spinach quiche from the chef. Instead, she was surprised to find out that he had got exactly what she did, though it lacked the chocolate chips._ _

__“Who the fuck took all the–” He paused glancing over at her plate where all of those chips were currently located. “Chocolate chips.”_ _

__Rey smiled at him, teeth covered with chocolatey syrupy goodness._ _

__“Sorry.”_ _

__He rolled his eyes before saying, “You couldn’t have left at least a handful?”_ _

__“No, my tummy wouldn’t have been satisfied with such an insufficient amount.” She stuffed another waffle piece into her mouth._ _

__“Is that so?”_ _

__“Mhmm.” Just then Ben reached over and grabbed the peak off of her chocolate mountain. She shrieked and slapped him on the arm. “Give them back!” She said just as he popped a few into his mouth and sprinkled the rest onto his waffle._ _

__“And here we were thinking that Ben Solo didn’t eat anything that wasn’t green,” Rose chimed in from across the table._ _

__“Poe knows that’s false. We both ate Ramen up to our eyeballs in college.”_ _

__“Can we get back to the issue here. He just stole my chips and needs to pay for his crime.” Rey wasn’t enraged, but she did want her chocolate back. Ben was playing a dangerous game coming between her and food._ _

__“Ben?” Rose asked. “What do you think is fair?”_ _

__“I’ll give her a quarter of my waffle.”_ _

__“Rey?” Rose mediated._ _

__“Fine.”_ _

__He cut off the piece and slid it onto Rey’s plate before turning back to his food and finally taking a bite._ _

__“What is on this?” She asked, staring down at his piece._ _

__“Peanut butter chips,” he responded. “Just take a bite. You’ll understand why I had to borrow some of your chocolate.”_ _

__Rey scoffed. “Borrowed.”_ _

__He nudged her on with his eyebrows, eyes waiting in earnest for her reaction._ _

__She hated telling him he was right, but damn was he right. She got the point he was trying to make. The waffle was in fact much better with the peanut butter and chocolate chips. Rey couldn’t believe she had missed out for so long._ _

__Ben just looked at her, awaiting a response._ _

__“So?” Poe asked. “How is it?”_ _

__“Dammit.” Ben just smiled at her reply taking another bite of his wonderful concoction._ _

__“It’s a balanced waffle. Half peanut butter, half chocolate. Utter perfection.”_ _

__“I wouldn’t say perfection,” Poe said._ _

__“Says the man who doesn’t like peanut butter, of course you won’t think it’s perfection. To all the rest of us sane people, it’s the greatest topping on waffles ever to exist.” Ben looked over at Rey who had finished the piece he gave her._ _

__She stood up and shamefully walked over to get peanut butter chips._ _

__“Shut up,” she said when she sat down with a cup full of them to balance her chocolate mountain. Ben chuckled as she added them to her waffle._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow i managed to fit in the Waffle House Reylo pancake into this fanfic.. Somehow I keep fitting waffles into fanfics. I might have a waffle problem.. 
> 
> I realize that y'all might not be familiar with what an SCA name is. To be honest I don't really know either. I just know through friends that it is a name you use in the like jousting association or something? So I thought, how fitting it would be to have Ben's SCA name be Kylo Ren, and Rey's is probably Kira. Gotta fit that canon relation in somehow *wink*. 
> 
> I probably forgot to say something, so if you have any questions please feel free to comment. 
> 
> Love you all for sticking around. I don't know why you are but thank you♥♥♥
> 
> -Olivia


	8. Dutch Braids

“Just do it,” Poe had been arguing with Rey for the last hour trying to get her to squire for Ben instead of him. “I can’t get another concussion Rey. I can’t.” 

“When did you get a concussion?” Finn asked looking over at Poe inquisitively. They were all sitting by the pirate ship snacking like preschoolers with their legs criss-cross applesauced. It was warm, but a cool breeze wafted off of the lake and ran through Rey’s hair, removing the sweaty pieces from her neck and cooling the perspiration. 

“Back when Ben first started jousting but tha–"

“And why would it be any better for me to squire for him when I am the one competing?” 

“She’s got a point,” Rose said as she took a bite out of her Twix. 

“Okay but he will listen to Rey. I’ve gone over this,” he continued as he stood up grabbing their plastic bag and throwing his trash away. “If I tell him something civil like ‘oh hey, let’s not bruise my assets because you’re trying to make sure Hux picked out Silencer’s feet’ he immediately hits instant grump mode.” 

“God, okay Poe I’ll do it,” Rose said, finally giving in to his complaints. “I know you are just doing this so you can sneak off with Finn though.” 

“Trust me, you’ll know that’s not true the second you start. But yes. That is part of it.” Poe gave her his charming ‘thanks a million’ smile. Rose just rolled her eyes. 

Rey just sat back, munching on her banana waiting for the conversation to fall away from Ben. It didn’t, because a second later Finn, Poe and Rose all asked for the in depth details involving drunk Ben from the night before. 

She promptly told them, briefly stating everything that happened. She hoped her avoidance of the subject would deter them from thinking exactly what they had been thinking the entire time. That Rey really had it bad for him and that she was sexually struggling with every encounter she had with him. 

Which wasn’t false but Rey wasn’t about to say that. She already knew that Rose was poking and prodding around the subject more so than usual, especially with all the questions she had been asking her. 

That was why when Poe asked her if she got any drunken confession off of him Rey was thoroughly surprised. 

“Not that I know of? Why?” She asked. 

“No reason,” he said. Rey didn’t prod, even if it was killing her not to, not wanting to draw attention to the careful subject she was tip-toeing around. Before her mind could get the better of her though, Poe added, “He’s a snarky little shit when he’s drunk though isn’t he?” 

“Well at the stage the we found him in he was more like a giddy schoolgirl? But once I found him by the castle and the liquor wore off a bit, yeah. Snarky as all hell.” She thought back to some of Ben’s comments from the night before, a small smile crossing her face.

Poe looked over at her, nodding as if he knew exactly what that meant. “Sheesh he was really far gone then. I feel a little bad for the man now, he’s probably gotta joust with a killer headache.” 

“At least the chase is today and not the melee.” 

“They changed it. The melee is today instead,” Rose responded. 

“Ouch.”

“Hopefully that makes Rose’s new job easier,” Finn chimed in knocking shoulders with Rose and giving her a wink, a characteristic he seemed to have adapted from his boyfriend. 

Before Rose could properly slap him she got a call from Temmin letting them know they should get ready to ground crew for the first joust of the week.

~ 

They had come up with a system this year. There would be no more running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to make sure that their side of ground crew is working properly. Finn, Rey, and Poe were currently manning the gold side, which just so happened to be the rack drunken Ben had stolen the lance from the evening prior. Rey was receiving lances during the jousts she wasn’t competing in, chosen because she would know how to deal with the horses going into and out of the list. 

That meant she would be able to give all the pats to Silencer. 

She was on her way to the arena with the gatorades Finn requested in tow, dressed up in the customary ground crew clothes which consisted of a white shirt and the dreaded outer tunic that everyone despised. Ben was sitting under the pavilion trying to get his chest piece on as she passed by him. He looked up at Rey and her eyebrows cocked in question. 

He looked like the little girl from vine who tried wasabi for the first time, that same ‘help’ written across his face. 

“Where’s Rose?” Rey asked as she trotted over to him, immediately flinging into getting him armored up. 

“Rose? Where’s Poe?” He questioned, right as she got the second buckle done. Ben had that shakey holy-crap-I’m-late expression, and Rey could practically feel his stressed vibrating from underneath the metal plate. 

“Dammit Poe…” She muttered to herself. “He was supposed to tell you Rose was going to squire for you, and I’m assuming she forgot.” Rey was trying her hardest not to touch him too much, but considering her job was basically to get him dressed in a tin can, that would be very difficult. 

“Apparently.” There was no sympathetic anything in his voice. He was very frustrated that was for certain. She was working on getting all the pieces to his arms on when he swung around to tell her something and almost hit her square in the jaw. 

“What do you— agahh!” She ducked missing an almost conscious eliminating blow. “Ben! You CANNOT move!” 

She stood up, slapping him upside the head. If she had a spray bottle she would spritz him like a cat. If she ever had to do this again she would be sure to grab one. 

He looked down sheepishly, ears reddening. “Sorry. I’ll stay still.” 

“Mhmm,” Rey hummed, clearly unconvinced. “I don’t believe you. Not after all that I heard from Poe.” 

“Poe is an exaggerator.” 

“So you didn’t knock him unconscious?” 

Ben didn’t vocally respond, he only tried, and failed, to stifle a smile. It was the only response Rey needed. “That was only once.” She raised her eyebrows at him. “And in my defense he was being an asshole that day.” 

“I see… I’m just checking to make sure you don’t have secret motives here. Make sure you aren’t secretly plotting to give me a matching scar.” She motioned to the one in question that (very sexily in Rey’s opinion) ran down his face.

“No, I could never damage precious goods.” 

Rey scoffed, not meeting his gaze. She could still feel his eyes on her though, knew somehow that they were following her movements, judging her response, as she retrieved his pauldrons from his suitcase. 

It was stuff like this that made her question whether he had changed his mind. Whether maybe, on the off chance that he did like her, her fantasies could one day come true. 

She shrugged off his response to her, trying to think of at the task at hand. 

On the bright side she noticed that Ben had seemed to calm down a little more from their joking, though he still appeared to be shaking slightly.

She ran her hand up his bicep, feeling for the buckle that would secure the piece, when Ben physically flinched. 

“You alright there Solo?” Rey asked, not stopping her work to process what possible things that could mean. 

His tone sounded rough as he grunted out, “I’m fine.”

Ah yes… And fine he was. .It was getting increasingly harder to notice just how fine he was. Not when her job right now was to put things on his body and be in close proximity to him. With his broad shoulders and freaking luxurious arms, she couldn’t help but fantasize. Who could blame her?

They had a cabin all to themselves, and one far enough away from everything else that no one would be able to hear anything. It was a shame she couldn’t take advantage of that. 

She had gotten everything on his except his helmet, trying to maneuver his how-can-it-be-so-luscious hair in a way that it wouldn’t scrunch down and obscure his view. 

“I’m gonna braid it.” 

“The fuck you are. Nuh uh. Nope. No braids,” He responded. 

“Come on Ben, don’t you want to be able to see?” 

“I’ll just tie it up like I do every year.” He looked down at Rey, who now had her hands on her hips, and added with a head bob toward the arena, “We don’t have time.” 

Just like magic, Klaud popped his head around the corner of the pavilion and shouted over to them, “Hey guys, I’m just here to let everyone know that the ground crew is running a little behind so we’re delayed for probably another ten minutes.” 

Rey looked over and winked up at him before moving around his armored form to grab a stool. His gloved hand closed around Rey’s wrist and she stopped... everything. Rey was ninety-nine percent sure she even stopped breathing.

He paused, clearly breaking his train of thought and going down another path. 

“You alright there Johnson?” Ben said with a smirk, turning her words back on her. 

She shook her mind clear, well as clear as she could get with Ben being… Ben, and said, “I know you already tacked up Silencer before, like you always do, which means we have ten extra minutes. I’m braiding your hair.” 

There was no major protest from him, so she took that as answer enough. 

Three steps up on a step stool and a comb through of his hair later, she started to separate his locks. She was trying to be as gentle as possible, her deft fingers lightly brushing past the shell of his ear to collect any stray strands. He tensed beneath her, shoulders going ridged for a moment before slowly releasing. 

Rey was suspicious, so she did the movement again, only this time being even more pronounced in the brushing of his ear. 

He responded again in the same way. 

She didn’t comment, but a small smile crept onto her face. One that, luckily, she didn’t have to hide. It was moments like these that made her now undeniable crush— as if it was ever deniable— even harder to live with. This tender revelation collapsed her heart in a way she couldn’t describe. The knowledge that she’d never be able to kiss the shell of his large ears and see him shudder beneath her, never be able to run her hands through his hair while she gasps for air from relentless kisses, it broke her. 

Rey realized she had stopped her braiding when Ben said, “If I am letting you do this you better hurry before I change my mind.”

Proceeding, she worked as quickly as possible if only so she could get out of this stage of wondering what it would be like to actually be with Ben Solo. Rey kept getting wafts of his shampoo as she twisted his hair, the rich scent permeating her brain and only left her more helpless, floating away on questions. Why she wasn’t enough for anyone… ever. 

A silent tear rolled down her face just when she ran out of hair left to braid. It was a good thing no one was around for her to care. 

She had braided only the top of his head, three small dutch braids snaking along his scalp, and was satisfied with her work. 

Stepping down from her stool, she wiped her face on the hard cotton white sleeve of her tunic. 

“Voila.” Rey gave a curtsy as she set down the stool in front of him and grabbed his helmet. Ben’s hands flew up to feel the braids she had crafted before realizing he wouldn’t be able to reach, his armor too restrictive. “You’re just going to have to trust me.” 

“I trust you.” His words were tender. Too tender for Rey after the silent moment she had. A weight felt like it was placed upon her chest, that familiar feeling of internal collapse in its starting stages. 

“You look like a prince,” she said. It was in attempt to close that collapsing door before it fully opened. 

“Technically I am,” he added. 

That did it. Finally she was relinquished from her breaking. “What?!” 

Ben didn’t have time to answer because just then Klaud peeked around the corner again and told them it was time to go. 

“I’ll go get Silencer,” Rey said, already walking away from him. “Don’t expect me to forget about this though, I expect an explanation!”

She ran off toward the barn hoping the first joust would be enough to distract her from her raging thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've failed at posting. Again. 
> 
> Ben's braiding in this is based on that one behind the scenes photo from the force awakens, and also a jouster at a competition I go to that refused to have his hair braided. The photo kills me. I love it.
> 
> Blarg. I am here questioning the whole purpose to writing thing wretched thing, but I shall soldier on. In a way this fic is my baby, so I plan on going through and editing it once I finish. Currently have chapter eleven in the works, thinking that this fic may boarder on fifteen or twenty chapters. 
> 
> To anyone who has stayed here this long... Thank you. I may not understand why you are reading this trash that I call my fanfiction, but thank you.


	9. Tying Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me oh my, chicken pot pie it has been a hot minute since I posted...
> 
> Also look! My poor electronic inept brain found out how to do the picture thing! Sorry, just really impressed with myself for figuring that out.

 

“Finn you’re on lance duty!” Rey called from her spot by the tilt. Ben had just exited the lane and was motioning for water, and as his newly appointed squire, Rey obliged.

He had just gotten done with his first three passes against Mitaka. Ben won them all, despite the issues he was having with Silencer. Never in her life had Rey seen Silencer be anything but perfect. He went into the lane as quiet as could be, picked up the canter at the right moment, and stopped at the other end. Ben could ride him without any sort of contact on his mouth. It was clockwork. Silencer knew his job and he loved it.

Today it was different. He was charging into the entrance, breaking the tilt, everything. Rey had to lead him into the list on the last round just to make sure he wouldn’t take off unprecedented. He was just doing everything in his power to make it virtually impossible to achieve a good pass. It was a good thing Ben could accomplish the virtually impossible.

Something was off and Rey couldn’t figure out what. Horses could have bad days, just like people could, but Rey had never seen anything like this, at least not from Silencer.

Rey would bet anyone fifty bucks that Ben was pissed.

It seemed like she would have lost fifty bucks.

“Hey, I got your water,” Rey shouted as she grabbed a stool, making sure he could hear her through his armor. She climbed up the stairs and grabbed the tool that would unlock his pin for his helmet from her back pocket.

Once the piece was free Ben said, “I don’t know what’s up with him.”

“Well you handled it well, that’s for sure.” She handed him his water, taking the reigns so he could drink freely. Ben had the expression on his face… in his eyes. The one that held a sliver of self-depreciation and a whole lot of disbelief. He didn’t comment to her pitiful compliment.

“You still won,” she added not knowing how to just let him be apparently. She wanted to cheer him up. It was like some internal drive that had her almost blubbering out a million other things she could think of that would simultaneously make her look like an idiot and make him smile, not that Ben Solo smiled often.

“I’m going to have to work on that later,” Ben said, handing her his water bottle and picking back up the reigns.

“I’ll help you.”

There was something that crossed over his face as he peered down at her. She teetered over some invisible edge when his eyes looked like that, when he softened his gruff demeanor and she saw small glimpses of someone she wanted to learn.

It wasn’t anything. She kept telling herself that. The moment wasn’t even a half second long, and yet the moment was profound. Permanently stuck to her brain like gum on bleachers. There was no “fake hate”— as Rey now dubbed it— toward him now, nor was it just pure attraction. There was just this feeling deep in her chest that simmered with potential and warmth. Of comfort. She wanted to explore every part of his brain, know him better than she knew herself.

Love him.

The idea whispered in her ear, quieter than a mouse yet louder than a choir.

“Thanks.” He was still looking at her when he said it. Holding eye contact in only a way he could, completely drawing in her attention. She didn’t care that a pass was just made and she missed it. She didn’t care Finn was calling her name. It was only about the flecks of gold in his irises and what story’s they had to tell.

She had no idea how long she had stood there. It felt like infinity, though she could infer it had only been a few seconds.

Rey climbed off of the stool. Once her foot hit the ground she snapped back to reality. Forcibly, yes, but at least she was back.

“I’ll come back to put your visor back on. I think if I don’t hop back to my lance job soon Finn’s internal screaming will become external.” A ghost of a smile flitted across his face.

She started walking away when he called, “You were right.”

“About what? I’m right about lots of things.”

“The hair. It does feel better braided.”

She sent a smirk and a wink back at him before turning and smiling enough for the both of them. 

~~~

 

The joust had gone well, even with Silencers attitude. Ben had still won the first set of trials. Temmin and him would advance to day three, as Rey knew they would, and Rey would go tomorrow to see if she would advance (although she had little doubt she wouldn’t).

Rey had just got done removing Ben’s visor to let him breathe before he dismounted and they headed back to his suitcase to get the bloody stuff off of him.

Grabbing the reigns she hollered over at Poe, “I’m gonna take him back, I’ll need you to get Silencer and untack him.” He gave her a thumbs up from across the arena. Rey could have swore she saw him wink at her.

She started on her way over to the mounting block, giving Silencer head scratches as she led him. There was a feeling in the air, one that Rey couldn’t explain. She felt it tingle at the base of her neck, creep into her soul and fill every crevice of her with happiness. It was strange.

She didn’t mind it.

Rey turned around to look at Ben, only to find him already staring down at her. “That second pass was good, no? I thought he took it easy,” She said as they inched closer to their stopping point. There was already a line for the mounting block, Mitaka and Phasma both waiting to dismount. Phasma’s mare tossed her head.

“Only because I was micromanaging him like nobodies business,” Ben said as he shifted in his saddle. “I’m not worried about it— god, sweat is running down my back.” He paused doing some sort of weird shake thing that Rey could only describe as adorably endearing— which was a term her brain used a lot when describing him apparently— before continuing. “We’ll work on it tonight, and if that doesn’t help I've got tomorrow too.”

Rey gave him a smile before turning back around to move him forward. It was strange that she would be helping him. Well, no. Not strange per se just not normal. Generally Ben didn’t get help from anyone, he just gave it unconditionally. To everyone. On _everything _. Whether they want it or not.  
She hoped to use the evening as a learning experience. There was so much he could teach her, and she was eager to learn. Rey had apprenticed under Luke— who she later found was Ben’s uncle— for a long time, leeching any and all information off of him. She learned a lot, she really did, but there was so much he hadn’t taught her. With horses. With life. Rey had started to view Luke as a father, until he abandoned her training to live out on some ranch. He had refused to teach her how to joust only how to ride and train, which was a great tool to have but not the reason she seeked him out in the first place.__

__Ben finally got off, landing on the ground with a thunk before lumbering off clinking and clanking._ _

__“Am I wrong or did the one and only Ben Solo have _braids _?”___ _

____“Jesus! Poe, you scared the crap out of me.” Rey had been too preoccupied watching Ben’s armored form walk off to the tent. It wasn’t even like there was anything to look at— it was all covered up by bulky chunks of metal— but Rey knew what he looked like underneath, all sprawling torso, and mile-long shoulders, and _that _was the reason.___ _ _ _

______“Wow, I’m impressed. You’ve really worked wonders on him.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What do you?” She started. Poe was wiggling his eyebrows aggressively, holding out his hand in silent call for Silencers reigns. “God you’re worse than Rose,” she muttered as she handed Ben’s horse over, giving him one last pat._ _ _ _ _ _

______When she arrived at the tent Ben was actively trying to get his armor off… on his own, which any knight should know is an impossible feat._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh my god, Ben stop.” He looked over at her, brown puppy dog eyes hitting her right in the chest. She moved over to him, first taking off his helmet. She may or may not have had to grab the stool because he just so _damn tall _. His hair flopped down, whatever not still intact by his braids billowing down around his shoulders. Rey got a whiff of that godforsaken scent of his. The one that made her knees weak and her head spin. It was mixed in with his sweat and although she thought that would make it less attractive, she was mistaken. It only enhanced the rightness of it all.___ _ _ _ _ _

________The second she placed the helmet down Ben was at it again. Trying desperately to undo things that he clearly couldn’t reach._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just stand still and let me undress you dammit!” Her high-off-of-Ben’s-scent brain wasn’t able to catch the words before they left her mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I thought you’d never ask.” _Uggghhhh _. Rey knew it was flirting, picking, teasing. Whatever. She hated it. It screwed with her perception of him. She was now in this gray area, where she couldn’t tell left from right. It was like how they were before their whole talk last year. Though, now the result of that talk only led to confuse her more.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He didn’t like her. But he flirted, or at least what Rey thought was flirting._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He always wanted her to lose, except he had offered to teach her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He didn’t want to be her friend, but he’d joke with her. She’d catch him watching her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It was all so confusing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” It didn’t happen often but her confusion led to frustration, and her frustration came out as anger._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ben stayed silent, his expression falling into that mask she had seen only a few times before. It was like covering a canvas with white paint and hoping it the prior painting wouldn’t show through. It takes a couple of coats to completely cover it. She watched as Ben added coat by coat. As she became more and more helpless to decipher the true meaning behind _him _.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________~~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She didn’t see him again until the melee. She assumed he went back to their cabin and slept like the dead (the heat in their armor was hella draining), though she couldn’t be certain._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Poe was left to tend to him for the mounted melee because Rey had her own shit to get on. All she could think about was how great of a knight she was because she at least hadn’t knocked anyone unconscious with her flailings._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________There was thankfully no comments about Ben from Rose._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey gathered up her reigns and headed back to the arena, getting her game face on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________~~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________There was a certain amount of calculated insanity that went on during the melee. The clanging of armor and Phas’ shouted hoorahs were a battle cry to Rey’s soul. There really wasn’t any thinking in the melee, at least none that Rey could consciously identify. It was all just glorified hitting and secret camaraderie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________That wasn’t to say there was no technique, the haphazardness of it just caused one to do, not think._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey was peering through the slit in her armor, trying figuring out her next victim. It was the one silence she had gotten thus far, though Rey wouldn’t be one to revel in it. The silence meant you were an open target. Rey was the archer, not the deer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Somehow, through no vocal matters, Ben and Rey had come up with some sort of silent agreement. He had the change to hit her earlier, she saw it coming, and yet he didn’t. Ben merely passed by, swinging his baton passed her to strike at Mitaka who would have landed a blow on Rey._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Since then they’ve been fighting back to back, in a way. The problem with being the best in the ring was that everyone tried to overpower you, get you out. When Ben would gather a group too big for him to manage Rey would swoop in on Bee and lead a few away from him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They had tagged like this almost the whole time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Until they were the last two left._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey realized she had gotten Jannah out, and turned Bee around to get a better vantage. Ben was the only one left, and as per usual Rey was ninety percent sure they were tied. She had gotten hit by Hux once, and Ben had gotten struck by Temmin. One and One._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They faced off at the ends of the ring, like two cowboys in a western movie, waiting for the first person to make a move. Rey was surprised their horses didn’t paw dramatically, it would have just completed the scene._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She was contemplating her moves, what maneuverings she would have to take to get him out and stay out of his striking range. Now it was time for thinking. The rushed madness wasn’t thundering in her head like a war drum anymore. Now came the strategy. Except unlike the stick game, she couldn’t exactly flaunt her assets right then._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Luckily, Silencer snorted like a pig at the canter and thundered about so if they ever went into her blind spots (which were many with her damned helmet) she could hear them even through the metal. Rey wasn’t planning on letting them get that far, but on the off chance that they did, she knew what to do._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Moments had passed and Ben still hadn’t moved. Rey took that as a chance to charge._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Bee-Bee knew his job and intended on doing it. Rey always speculated her horse’s favorite event was the melee. He had spunk in the ring, could turn much easier than the big draft horses, and just like he was doing then, Bee hunted down his opponents._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She was cantering toward Ben, baton in hand, ready to strike. Ben brought his guard back up, poised in exactly the position she had been hoping. At the last minute, Rey turned Bee around and swung upward, striking Ben under the arm and on his chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She whooped in delight before putting distance between him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Two hits to one, though now that she initiated the game Rey was sure the last strike would not come as easily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They did a dance on horseback, maneuvering back and forth, judging each other's movements like two kids round and round on either side of a kitchen island. Ben was collected in his motions. Precise and intricate. He had practiced as such. Rey knew he could drop the reigns and still move Silencer in exactly the way he planned, which, she, unfortunately, couldn’t do on Bee. Not yet at least._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She cantered off to the other side of the ring taunting him to follow, hoping that in the time it took him to catch her she would have thought up something._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Her mind drew blanks. So many blanks in fact that once he pulled up next to her she had no reaction but just to stand there. Completely frozen in thought._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It rewarded her with a hit to the back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Rey could have sworn she heard him chuckle even through the crowds cheers and both layers of armor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She gripped her baton harder, setting her face in stone even if no one was going to see her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Game face, game face. Get your grrr on Rey. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The things she hated about Ben, that’s what she’s trying to remember. Focus only on the things she hates. Problem was, she couldn’t think of any._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Actually, there was a _personal _issue she had with him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Her chant soon became ‘why won’t you fuck me’._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________It echoed while she stretched over Bee to reach him, and when the clang of his baton on her armor rang out just as the impact from Rey’s strike to him hit her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________And just like that, they had tied again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sjdhasbfisdfi
> 
> Oh help me. 
> 
> I tried a part of the classic back to back scene, but a little different? I don't know, I'm trying to figure out how to life!


	10. Goofy Faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who has a chapter estimate now! Honestly I am still not exactly sure how many chapters there will be, but I believe I am working on twelve now and fifteen just feels like a good number. It will likely change. 
> 
> I am in the final stretch now, and I am already starting to plan for my next fic. 
> 
> I'm unsure of what I want to do next, whether it will be a slow burn and a long fic or more of a three chapter type. Possibly even a oneshot? 
> 
> I need suggestions! Help me!   
> I really want to experiment with maybe a roommates (oh my god they were roommates) trope, or possibly the idea of them being friends for a long time? Really anything cliché because lord knows I can never come up with anything original.   
> If for some crazy reason yall would want to stick around what would you most like to see?

Rey was watching Ben warm Silencer up. So far the black gelding had been light and supple, reacting to Ben’s cues instantaneously. It was nice, being able to freely watch Ben doing his life’s work. Just being able to freely watch Ben, period, was a gift. She didn’t have to worry about randomly getting elbowed in the ribs from Rose who would persistently work her eyebrows until Rey blushed like an idiot.

She was mostly over the fact that they had tied in the melee. Once they both had their helmets off, Ben’s playful grin was enough to simmer the overall ‘ugh-ness’ she felt about it. He was chuckling about how they couldn’t have timed it any better while they ate lunch, Rose chiming in about how great a team they were in the ring.

Rey realized as they ate that she didn’t really care about winning anymore. Or at least, didn’t care as much as she thought she did. That wasn’t to say that she still wasn’t going to try.

The late evening air was cooling with every second. Thankfully, the sun was going down and a soft breeze was filtering through the property allowing her to comfortably work. She had finished working with Bee on the flat. Ben had chimed in a little after she started, giving her micro-adjustments and helping her overall performance.

It was nice having a mini-lesson. Poe had helped her before, but not in an instructor sense. He had just been her eyes to help her spot what she was doing since Rey couldn’t do so herself, occasionally playing cameraman as well. She had gone to a clinic a year ago, but Ben’s teaching was different. It was methodical in a way she understood, descriptive in a way that helped. It was as if he knew how her brain worked enough to describe exactly what she needed to hear in order to understand how to fix stuff.

“I love this, but aren’t we supposed to be working on y'all?” She had asked as she circled around him, nodding over at Silencer. He had smiled, the setting sun giving his face a glow that Rey wished she could ingrain in her brain forever.

He had lowered his eyes in a sort of bright ‘Oh right, I’m sorry’ and said, “Let me just work a little more with him and I’ll be ready.”

She had sat back, scratching Bee on the butt, and watched happily.

Ben came to stop in front of her. Pieces of his hair snaked around to his eyes. He brushed them away from his face before turning back toward her.

“So, what’d you see?”

“Huh?” She didn’t quite understand the question wondering if he was referring to something else.

“What do you think I could fix?”

“Oh, I don’t think I really,” she paused rearranging her thought because there were a few things (though microscopic and overall unimportant) he could fix. “I’m not sure my advice would really help at all.”

“I didn’t ask if you thought it would help, I asked what I could fix.” His words were not unkind but he softened his tone before adding, “I want to hear what you have to say, Rey.”

She would never tire from hearing her name on his lips. She hoped her tiny smile was hidden enough from the darkening sky.

“Well, you’re practically perfect.” Rey thought she heard him scoff as she said it. Her tiny smile grew a little. “But if you want to hear something—”

“That would be nice yes,” he cut her off, his own lips forming into that grin she had come to recognize.

“Oh shut up I was getting there.” She quickly thought over what things she did see. “You dropped your shoulders a little and softened your core too much during the last bit of the warm-up. Other than that though, I didn’t see a whole lot.”

“Okay.”

“Like I said. Perfect.” _In more ways than just this._

“Where’s the Rey from a few days ago. I feel like she’d have a pretty nasty rebuttal.”

“On the contrary Ben, I’m pretty sure the Rey from a few days ago thought you were perfect too. She was just too frustrated by it to act like a normal human being.”

“Is that right?” There was Mr. Smirky McSmirkerson that she was waiting for. The self-assured, cocky look that she, thankfully, mentally prepared herself for this time.

“Oh, you know. Maybe she was wrong. I think I forgot to add in the snark factor. Sorry bud you’re back down to ninety-five percent perfect.”

“You secretly love it.” Yes, and she was secretly trying not to. It was a good thing they were on horseback and he was a few solid feet away from her because his newfound spike of confidence was not helping her right now. What exactly was she supposed to say to that?

“It’s not a secret if you know it,” Rey said before turning Bee and trotting toward one end of the tilt. She sent a wink to him on her way over.

_Dear god, what am I doing?_

Was this flirting? Rey wasn’t sure but whatever it was she didn’t want to stop.

She turned into the tilt once she made it to the other side. Ben was already on the other side, waiting for her signal to go down the lane.

“I just want to trot it first,” he yelled from the other side.

_Right. Working on what we came here for. Yes, let’s do that._

Silencer had entered calmly. Rey waiting to call for them to go in order to see if he would maintain his composure. He only stood patiently waiting for Ben’s cues so she called it.

They took off down the lane. Bee knew his job and therefore started off with a couple steps of canter but Rey quickly slowed him down. Otherwise, he was good (as usual) and calmly trotted. Silencer appeared to be just as perfect as always, and Ben dropped his reigns, Rey followed suit. Both of them pretended they were holding lances and followed through with the motion.

As they came up to pass each other Rey looked over at him and got a brief glimpse of his face before passing him. He looked like a kid posing for a goofy picture, his face strewn about in seven different directions and his tongue sticking out.

Rey giggled through the rest of the pass, trying not to break down into hysterical laughter. Through the darkening sky and blue hues, she could see his crooked tooth smile from across the tilt.

She forced herself to look away, only calling out to ask if he was ready to go again.

“Ridiculous,” Rey muttered under her breath while patting Bee-Bee on the neck, smiling quietly to herself as she lined him up in the lane again.

As soon as she called for them to go Rey racked her brain for her ‘silly face’. She thought back to her childhood, trying to reanimate the facial reconstruction involved in the faces of her childhood. School pictures, most likely, since she didn’t exactly have a family to pose with.

They passed, and she shot him the goofiest thing she could think up. Rey glimpsed a full-blown smile (enough to crinkle the eyes and everything) right before the image of him passed her by.

They exchanged faces for the rest of their passes, each one more ridiculous than the last. It appeared Ben had intense control over one eyebrow and he used that to his advantage.

When they were done with their trotting passes Ben pulled her aside and they discussed what could be worked on. Rey was happily leeching information off of him. They then went down the tilt at a canter, discussed, and regrouped. There was something about Ben when he instructed. He was passionate, thorough, and held this light in his eyes that only proved the extensive love for exactly what he was doing.

She never wanted him to stop speaking.

It didn’t take much to tune up Silencer. He had only rushed a couple of times once they finally got around to picking up lances, but after they worked on it a little bit he was right back to normal.

They walked back to the barn in the cool night air. The sun had finally set and the air for once was at low humidity. It left the weather crisp and the perfect temperature, if not a tiny bit chilly. Rey couldn’t think of a better night. She was just content.

Once they got back to the barn they untacked and talked about everything and nothing. Ben stored the box Rey could have sworn he already put away twice, but they were still talking so she didn’t say anything.

She didn’t want to go back to the cabin. She didn’t want anything to change.

There weren’t any more things to put away or fiddle with to prolong the conversation, so they headed back.

“And so we trudge,” Rey said as they turned off the barn lights and started walking.

“Yes, to trudge. The slow, weary, depressing, yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in his life except the impulse to simply soldier on.” Ben had quoted the classic movie everyone at WIMASC knew, and a personal favorite of Rey’s.

She smiled up at him and got a smile in return, his face barely illuminated in the moon’s glow.

“You know, I hadn’t seen that movie until two years ago,” Ben said. Their hands brushed against one another lightly. Rey didn’t flinch away. She gave him an inquisitive brow, and an exaggerated head tilt. “I thought it was stupid.”

Rey gasped dramatically. “The audacity.” She slapped him playfully on the arm. God those arms. _No Rey, you’re not getting distracted with those now._ “And who would think you’d be quoting it later.”

“I know. I know. Believe me, I already got the beat-down from Temmin and Poe.”

“As you should have. A Knights Tale is their favorite. Insulting it is like wounding their souls. How could you not love it—”

“I do love it—"

“— With Paul Bettany _and_ Heath Ledger. I mean come on.” Rey was grinning like an idiot now. The worst part was she couldn’t really pinpoint why. I mean, she obviously knew it had something to do with Ben— it always did— but she could figure out exactly what.

“You know, Rey—” Ben had started.

“Oh my god, fireflies!” Rey had sprinted off to the field ahead of them, practically skipping.

Her smile stretched so far it almost hurt. There were only two she had seen in the field, but her eye had caught them and now she was being transported back to her childhood. Rey ran about, trying to catch the firefly that was the closest to the ground.

She looked back at Ben, wondering if he had decided to continue on back to the cabin. Instead, he was standing there, looking at her as if she was the center of his world. Rey abandoned the bug for a moment and walked gingerly over to him.

On some sort of instinctual impulse Rey grabbed his hand. She thought she heard a sharp inhale.

“Come on. Help me catch them.” His eyes were still glued to her. “I need someone tall to catch them if they go up too far.” She only drug him along.

Rey kept losing them as the fireflies blinked out. Her eyes strained to find them without their glow. Finally one blinked again.

It was a few good feet above her. There was no possible way she’d be able to catch it, but Rey tried anyway, jumping around like a kid.

“Come down here you little bastard,” Rey remarked, jumping one last time before giving up.

She had forgotten all about Ben until she felt two massive hands around her waist and the loss of contact with the ground. She yelped before realizing the intention of this dirty dancing type lift.

Rey reached up and caught the firefly she had been eyeing in-between her cupped hands before being lowered back down to earth. He hadn’t faltered during the lift, nor did Rey feel unsafe. Ben just did it effortlessly and Rey apparently trusted him not to drop her.

“You get it?” Ben asked once her feet were firmly planted in front of him. They were so close she could feel his breath moving her hair, could easily hug him and never let go. Beg him to lift her up, again and again, pin her against a wall. All that jazz.

Thankfully, Rey had a functioning frontal lobe and was not going to act on her initial thoughts, but damn was it hard.

Rey peeked between her hands, slowly and carefully opening them just enough to make sure the bug was indeed captured.

“Yes.” The word sounded breathy in her mind.

“So what’s your thing with fireflies?” Ben asked. He had somehow gotten closer, even though his feet hadn’t moved. Rey sat down on the ground, firefly still clasped in her palms.

“I lived in Illinois for two years when I was younger. Right before I moved back down here.” Ben followed her, folding his long legs criss-cross-applesauce and reminding Rey just how impossibly big he was. “The man who adopted me, Unkar Plutt, he had moved out there to work on his brother's junkyard. It was out in the middle of nowhere, a small town called Jakku, and it was miserable.” She tilted her head back to look at the stars. “But in the evening on a clear night the stars would pop out, and the fireflies would raise up from the field.” Rey lowered her head to look at him, only to find him already intently staring at her with soft eyes and a warmth she hadn’t quite felt the intensity of yet. It gave her the courage to say what she needed to, knowing there would be no judgment.

“Things with Plutt were bad Ben. Really bad. I was depressed, suicidal.” Ben took her cupped hands in his, gently stroking the skin of her wrist. Rey thought she might be crying, there was some sort of wetness dampening her cheeks. “I would read on the back porch just waiting for the sun to go down. And those fireflies would give me hope that I’d get out. One day I’d get out.”

“And I did. Because now I’m here, not starving because I didn’t fetch a blubbery old man a piece of metal.” She laughed. It was bitter and cold.

Rey looked down at her hands and slowly opened them. The firefly stood still in the center of her palm. She blew on it lightly and it flew, lighting up the world just a tiny bit. She looked over at him, eyes so teary she could barely make out his face.

“I had never felt so alone.” It came out in a half sob before he pulled her close, big arms wrapping around her and warding off any thoughts that could further corrupt her mind.

“You’re not alone.” She looked up at him, face pressed against his chest still. He was staring right back down at her like always. Ben was always there.

Rey didn’t know why she felt the need to say it, but something in her soul cried out that he had been there too. Been hurting just like her, and somehow made it out.

“Neither are you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **me rereading this and realizing how often I use the same descriptive types and phrases to describe stuff:** Oh god, how are they not tired of me yet?
> 
> *sings in a overwhelmed manner* what even is their relationship, where is the continuity. hahah I don't knowww
> 
> Soo, um... im not sure why I put the goofy faces in here. It makes no sense to my brain and is probably the cheesiest thing I have written but oh wellllll  
> Ben is soft and ridiculous, and yet totally not? That's all I can really justify myself with


	11. And There Was Only One Bed... (Inflated)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure y'all already know what's coming. 
> 
> *announcer voice*   
> AND THE TROPES CONTINUE

Rey had no idea how long they had sat there, under the stars and fireflies just breathing each other in. She had secretly hoped that while finding solace in his arms he would kiss her on the forehead. It was in the perfect position to do so, but instead, she just felt his breath tickle above her eyebrows.

She hadn’t even told Finn the extent of time as an adopted child of Plutt’s, any bit of what it entailed. Somehow, she found enough comfort in Ben to open up, to say what she was desperate never to bring up.

They sat next to each other once they finally untangled themselves, Rey’s head resting on his shoulders. There was a lapse of silence where they both procrastinated standing. Rey took Ben’s arm in her hands and kissed his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said in a whisper right before she stood to head back to the cabin.

She offered him her hand once she was standing, not that Rey would _really_ be able to help him up but it was the gesture that counted. He took it and she couldn’t help thinking it was the start of a new _something_ for them. A new friendship, likely, but something nonetheless.

“So, tell me about that prince thing you had mentioned earlier.” Rey had remembered about their earlier conversation as they walked back, and desperately wanted details.

“Oh, god. I was secretly hoping you’d forget.”

“Nope.” She flashed a cheeky grin. He gave her a look that said he wasn’t even going to try to persuade her to drop it. “Spill the beans,” Rey added.

“It’s a long story. My grandmother was the queen of a small country named Naboo.”\

“Never heard of it.”

Ben smiled from her response, “Exactly.” The saddening pressure in Rey’s chest that had developed was slowly dissipating. There must have still been some remaining visible sadness though because Ben grabbed her hand and held it as they walked, slowly tracing his thumb feather-light over the edge of her wrist. “She secretly married my grandfather, which had caused issues in the kingdom.”

“I see.”

“Anakin, my grandfather, he,” Ben paused as if drawing up an old memory. One that, Rey understood, still had roots planted deep in him. “Well… he went off his rails I guess you could say. An old mentor of his got it into his head that he had married my grandmother for the power. He spun these twisted ideas, screwed with his ideals, saying he was a better ruler and knew things she didn’t.”

Rey looked at him and saw a brokenness on his face. The carefully design mask snapped back into place before she could say anything though. “Oh and by the way, if you didn’t know, your mentor. Yeah, he was a prince.” Ben smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“Padme, gave birthright as Anakin killed three people on the court.” Rey gasped. The story hadn’t felt real, especially now as Ben casually mentioned the murders his ancestor committed. She guessed it felt like a fantasy to him as well. “My mother and uncle got separated at birth to protect them from him.”

He paused, Rey wondered if he would continue. “That’s some real Princess Protection Program shit,” Rey responded, hoping the slight humor would help. Ben chuckled.

There’s more to it, but basically, through that there is some sort of royalty tie in.

“Then your occupation suits you well.”

“I guess it does.” There seemed to be something else he wanted to say, but Rey felt as though it wasn’t the time. Ben was closing down again, and she didn’t want to push him.

They had arrived back at the cabin. Rey peeled her fingers apart from his, resisting the urge to kiss the top of his hand when doing so. She climbed up her ladder and onto the loft, grabbing her toiletries to go and shower. By the time she had gotten back, hair up in a towel, Ben was gone, likely off to shower as well. She climbed up to her bed, grateful for the, hopefully, peaceful sleep that wouldn’t obligate her to think for eight hours.

Really, she should have been sleeping a while ago, especially since she had to joust tomorrow, but Rey couldn’t find herself caring about tomorrow when she was still living today. That was a first.

Rey was in her half-asleep, half-awake state once she finally heard the door open again. Ben shuffled around the room, and even though Rey couldn’t see him she knew he was trying everything in his power not to be too loud. That was until she heard the string of curses fly out of his mouth.

“What happened?” She called down drowsily.

“My bed is deflated.” Rey finally opened her eyes. Down below her was Ben sitting on his mattress in a gigantic air-displaced hole.

“It’s a good thing I don’t mind sharing then.” Why the fuck had she said that? Rey wouldn’t be able to tell you. She blamed her sleep-deprived, half-awake brain, but surely she had better filters than that.

Apparently not.

“I’m good. Thank you though.” Rey didn’t know why that felt like a punch to the gut, but it did. She shouldn't have expected any change because of their personal sharing that evening, but she did. Something about his tone just screamed he would rather sleep on a bug-infested floor than with her and it was painful.

“Oh come on Ben, I don’t bite I promise. I have three extra pillows, that’s enough to make a pillow wall. And sure, the bed might not be the biggest, but I really only need about a foot since I sleep on my side.”

“Really Rey, it’s fine. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept on the floor, and likely won’t be the last. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Rey sort of wanted to punch him in his perfect face again. Damn, I thought I was over this. Now when she’s offering, he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but his snide comments and actions during the day are fine.

“I won’t be.” There was no response from him so Rey continued. “Trust me.” She hoped he couldn’t hear the desperation in her voice.

He let out a sigh. “Okay.”

She heard him climbing up the ladder before she saw him, the sounds of his bare feet on the wooden steps echoing her god awful idea further in her mind. His dark waves peeked over the loft, and she scooted over to the far edge of the bed shoving the rest of her pillows on her exposed side. Rey was hoping to see the expanse of his chest up close, though to the better judgment of the universe he seemed at liberty to put on a shirt.

She kind of felt like cursing out the better judgment of the universe right now.

Even if she didn’t have her eyes wide open watching his darkened form shift onto the bed Rey would have known, considering she raised about five inches the second he sat down. Rey finally forced herself to shift to her side, back to the hunk who would soon lay beside her. A rustling of sheets a couple of air-mattress-induced bounces later he was beside her.

He was beside her and she didn’t know what to do with herself.

Rey went into internal panic mode. Now, one would think that with the idea being her own, she would be less likely to break out into a full-body-tensing, palms-getting-sweaty, frantic mess. In fact, Rey thought the same thing… for about three-point five seconds. Then she realized that her mouth did the thing again where it decided not to consult the most importing CEO of her body.

And now he was there, breathing… existing next to her and her brain was playing table tennis trying to figure out how to react. She was the ping pong ball.

_You have a pillow wall Rey, that should keep you from being stupid._

She repeated those two words hoping it could be her own little version of counting sheep.

Rey gave up hope after counting the eleventh pillow ‘up on the wall’. Her lack of commitment to the cause of counting was justifiable in her mind though, considering she had the person who embodied her dreams laying beside her.

It was nothing. She knew it was nothing. But, there was still something she felt needed to be resolved, or maybe something she needed to say.

Rey wasn’t sure, but then again when was she ever sure of what she did around her ‘certain someone’.

She heard him sigh and then the mattress moved and made its characteristically squeaky-not-squeaky noise before her mouth blurted out, “I don’t kick by the way.”

Her eyes found a way to direct themselves back to the form next to her. She saw him sit up on his elbows and look over at her.

“Huh?”

“Or snore, as far as I know,” Rey said as she found herself doing _the thing_ again.

“I don’t know Rey. I thought the cabin was going to get run over by a freight train the other night.” He grinned, crooked, white teeth flashing in the limited light. “I was worried for our safety.”

She reached over the sanity retaining pillow wall to slap him on the arm. “Oh bollocks. I do not!”

There was a moment before he responded where he just looked at her. Rey wondered what was going on inside his head.

“Okay, maybe not ‘granddad waking up the whole street’ snoring but there was some, I’m sure.”

Rey chuckled and Ben lowered himself back onto the bed. “Okay,” she said smiling into the darkness. There was a warmth that emanated off of him, whether it was real or imagined it was nice.

They were both lying on their backs, Rey staring at the ceiling listening to the sound of his breathing. She wanted to damn the pillow wall, shuffle into his arms, and do whatever it is that came next. Cuddling, sex, really anything at that point as long as it involved her skin on his.

No, she had to control herself. This was merely circumstantial and Ben probably didn’t even want to be there in the first place.

And that was what hit her the most.

Rey tried not to ponder over exactly why Ben never asked her out. Never advanced.

It was always snarky comments that made her blood stir and her stomach heat, but never action. How was she supposed to know what was fake and what was real?

It was impossible to stop the self-conscience feelings and self-deprivation that followed. The one thought opened up the floodgates of issues she had been dealing with since before she could remember. She had shoved everything into a closet and it all came tumbling out because one thing slipped through the crack in the door. Of course, it picked the most inopportune time to do so.

She wasn’t good enough. Rey was never good enough. That was always the issue. Her parents left her, Luke abandoned her to figure out the world alone. That’s why she never felt as though she belonged. It’s why she’s been alone.

_You’re not alone._

Ben’s voice from that evening echoed through her mind. One bright mantra in a sea of darkness.

It was hope.

But her need for him was hopeless. He was there. Rey realized he would always be there. Ben had grown to be more of a friend than she realized. So fueled by hatred of his obliviousness to her obvious attraction to him— like the shallow, terrible person she was— Rey had missed it.

She was just selfish and wanted more. Rey was always selfish.

It was something else she hated about herself.

The gates were open, there was no stopping them now. Soon enough she was shaking on the air mattress running her fingers through her hair because she _had_ to do something with her hands and praying to god Ben was asleep, and deeply so.

She knew it was ridiculous. She knew it was unreasonable, but that didn’t stop her from feeling the way she did.

The definition of that was as follows: like shit. Rey felt like shit and there was nothing she could do to change it tonight. She’d have to find some mercy and finally find sleep, hoping it would shake off by morning.

Ben shifted next to her and she forcibly stopped her shuddering, instead taking on the compression that crushed her insides as she tried not to wake him.

Her eyes were closed as she took one shuddering breath and pressed down on her chest.

The pillow that her arm rested on moved, and then the one by her legs shifted down to the bottom of the bed. Rey opened her eyes to find Ben watching her in that intensely beautiful way of his. He placed a hand on her shoulder, the heat of his hand seeping through her sleep shirt and stilling her soul.

She moved into him nuzzling into his chest. He smelled like night time and black chamomile, like everything she needed. He kissed her still-damp hair.

That’s when Rey knew.

Somehow she already loved him.

“I’m sorry,” she said into his shirt. There was so much she was sorry for and none of it she could fix. Rey was sorry for saying sorry. She was sorry she was even there.

She heard his voice through his chest, the timber of it stopping her unsteady breaths.

“Don’t ever apologize to me. There is nothing you have done that you should say sorry for.” He rubbed a circle on her back, massive hands transmitting the comfort of him through every particle of her being. “When you’re ready. I’m here.”

She sniffled into his chest, guilty for how pathetic she was being, how kind he was responding.

A tear rolled down Rey’s cheek and soaked into the fibers of his shirt.

For the first time in her life, Rey fell asleep okay after a breakdown.

Ben was there. She was okay. Rey was not alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams into the void*
> 
> I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING OR WHAT THIS IS


	12. Ulterior Motives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sobbing over this mood board!!! It is the first one ever made for me by someone else and I'm... my heart is expanding with so much happiness. Bless the wonderful Ksco for being so incredibly kind and bringing me so much joy. 
> 
> I don't know why, but it feels like some sort of validation that I really really needed♥
> 
> Anywho, back to the story. We're close to wrapping up! Still don't have the final chapter written but I know what I want in it. Thank you all who have stuck around this far!

Rey woke up in the exact same position she fell asleep in, the only difference being that Ben’s left arm was gently shaking her awake.

“Rey.” Ben’s voice was rough from sleep, and it only helped her remember everything she had done the evening prior. Everything she had said.

Her eyes were reluctant to open, or rather, her brain was reluctant to change exactly how she felt in that moment. With his arms around her, she could imagine that they were actually together, that the solace she had found in him was going to last.

He shook her a little harder whilst swirling his finger on the exposed part of her collarbone.

She groaned a little, not wanting to be fully drawn out of the sleep Rey so desperately needed.

“As much as I don’t want to wake you, you have to joust soon and I feel like you’d really hate to miss that.”

_Shit._

That’s right, she had to joust today. _When was that?_ Rey didn’t know, but assuming she didn’t get woken up by WIMASC’s beloved theme she assumed it might be later than she originally planned on getting up.

Her eyes flung open and she brought her hand up to Ben’s arm, touching him as if to make sure he was real and actually there. Warm solid skin met her hand and she sighed before shifting slightly to convey she was getting up.

Ben moved off of her immediately. Rey was shocked by just how much she missed his warmth.

“Okay, I’m up.”

She leaned over the mattress looking for her phone. Her hand found the plastic casing and clicked it on. It was ten-thirty.

“Shit, shit, shit!” She squealed as she rushed down the ladder. “When’s the joust?”

Ben was looking down at her, leaning over the protective railing as he said, “Eleven thirty. The chase is after.”

Rey grabbed her toiletry bag from where it rested on the small end table and a half-full bottle of water she had snagged sometime the day prior and ran outside to brush her teeth. The walk to the bathrooms and back would waste too much time and she was running low on that. A half-assed teeth brushing was bearable, being late to a joust was not.

Ben was making his way down the ladder when she scrambled back inside. “Climb back up and throw me down my tunic and pants from the bag on the right.”

He looked down at her for a moment before responding, “on it.”

Miraculously it hadn’t taken him too long before the clothes came flying down to land on his deflated bed. Rey realized she forgot her bra right as his first foot found itself back on the ladder.

“Shoot, I need my bra too.”

For the second time that day Ben looked down at her, except this time his expression was different. He looked horrified as if the idea of merely touching any of her “underthings” was unacceptable to mankind.

“I am not retrieving your bra.”

“What Solo, are you afraid of an article of clothing?” She taunted back up at him.

“No, I am not afraid of it, I just feel it would be,” he paused. “Inappropriate.”

Rey audibly scoffed. “How the hell is fetching me my bra inappropriate? I’m sure you touched it while finding my other clothes.”

“Nevermind.” Two seconds later he tossed her down the item in question— her ratty, _old_ , sportsbra no less— and finally arrived at the main level of the cabin. Rey was throwing off her pants before he could fully turn around.

“What the _fuck_.” He turned back around immediately. She had thought they were through with this after she gave him a hard time about it. After he got her back.

Apparently not.

“If you are still that sensitive about naked women Ben, I would suggest you stay turned around.” She really didn’t have time to pester him further, although it was tempting, so Rey resigned to just hearing his sighed rebuttal as she threw off her shirt. “Okay, I’m done,” she said right as she slipped her tunic over her shoulders.

She was busy tying up the chest piece as she went to fetch her boots and put them on. When she turned around, Ben was in nothing but boxers.

_How the hell did he take his clothes off that fast?_

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to stand there and marvel over him as she had before, Rey just really had places to be.

“I’m going to run to the tent, see if they have any breakfast left,” because lord knows Rey hated surviving on an empty stomach. It’s not undo-able, she just really didn’t enjoy it. “If I don’t see you until I joust, good luck on the ground crew. Please don’t screw up Rose and Finn’s system or I’ll never hear the end of it.” And just like that, she was out the door.

The second Rey got under the tent she was called about by Poe’s characteristic whistle. Her head spun on a swivel to find her three best friends lounging at a table. Unfortunately, all the food was gone, Korr Sella already preparing for lunch.

“Damn girl, what did you do last night that had you sleeping in so late?” Poe said as she slid onto the bench. His implication was impossible to miss and though Rey hoped that was indeed the case, she really didn’t want her friends jumping to conclusions.

“Nothing, I just forgot to set my alarm.” That was true. Did they buy it? Of course not. Rose’s smirk paired with Finn’s eyebrow raise were enough to tell her they expected a better explanation than that. They all knew her, and in turn knew just how fast she sprung out of bed on an event day, especially one she was competing in.

Rey’s eyes caught the white paper plate that undoubtedly covered some sort of food that sat at the center of the table. She eyed it eagerly, glancing at Finn who was seated across from her as if to ask if it was his.

He picked up on her expression and said, “Here, we got this for you.” Finn slowly slid the plate across the table. “We thought you might be hungry,” he added. There was an insinuation there too, but Rey didn’t care. Not when her stomach grumbled at the idea of what lay beneath the plate.

Just as her fingers brushed against the rough paper of the plate Poe reached over and snatched it back.

“Poe!”

“What? I need a better excuse than ‘I forgot to set my alarm’ if you want this,” Poe ordered.

She really wasn’t prepared for their shit. Not when she had to be on in— Rey checked her phone— forty minutes. She also really wasn’t prepared to ride on an empty stomach.

Rey sighed, “I helped Ben with Silencer last night since he was fritzy in the joust. Then by the time we were done with everything it was late so we headed back to the cabin. I slept and simply forgot to set my alarm. That’s all.”

He clearly didn’t believe her but gave her the food anyway. Thank god for little mercies.

“We’ll get it out of you somehow,” Rose muttered next to her.

Really there was nothing to _get_ out of her. Nothing they wanted to hear at least. She didn’t fuck him, much to her dismay, and besides an evening of cuddling due to a popped air mattress wasn’t exactly drama worthy.

Rey shoveled the food into her mouth and asked between bites, “Finn, are you still getting Bee ready for me?” He nodded in response. “Thank you so much!” Rey blurted as she ran over to throw away her, now empty, plate of food. As she turned around and started walking back she saw them break apart from a ‘secret huddle meeting’ and immediately knew something was up. Finn scurried away before she sat down, yelling over about how he was going to get Bee-Bee ready and that he’d see her at the tilt.

Rose was the first to speak once she made it to the table.

“We have to help Tem set up some stuff for the chase, so we won’t be able to squire for you today.” She was barely containing composure, and Rey knew instantly that she was lying.

“Yeah, okay. And I’m allergic to horses.” Her sarcasm was overly apparent, and paired with the face she was giving them, Rose and Poe should know that they were walking on thin ice. Apparently they didn’t take the hint.

“Really? I didn’t know that! How do you stand riding?” Poe asked in that total smart-ass way of his, just as Rose picked up her— not even ringing— phone.

“What’s that? Okay yeah, we’ll be right over.” Rose slid it back into her pocket as she stood. “Sorry, Rey, we have to go.” Rey was furious.

“Who is going to be my squire?!” She was on the verge of screaming as they slipped away.

“Ask Ben,” Rose called over with a smirk.

Rey stood up and started toward them. “You know I know how to use a sword right?” They ran off at her threat. Rey muttered a million obscenities just as Ben stepped under the tent.

He immediately walked toward her, stopping a few feet in front of a fuming Rey. Her friends were so blatantly setting her up now that it was ridiculous.

“What was that about?” Ben asked, nodding over to where her once friends disappeared to.

“They decided to quit my squiring job.”

“Because?”

“Because they are idiots and are trying to pull my leg.”

“Got it,” Ben said, sounding like he got nothing at all. Rey walked over to her suitcase and started laying out her pieces of armor. If they were going to be assholes then everyone would just have to wait for Rey to singlehandedly dress herself.

They were children. Literal children. Yet she still loved them with all her heart.

Though that didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed to hate them in this moment.

“Let me help you.” Ben’s voice rumbled from behind her. Rey realized exactly how close he was and suppressed a shiver.

“You really don’t have to.”

“I think it’s only fair after you helped me. It seems your friends are really good at bailing.”

“Yeah, well, they have an ulterior motive.” She realized that they intentionally bailed on Ben yesterday. Rey seriously regrets not giving Poe and Finn a harder time when they got together.

“Oh?” Ben asked. As if she was going to tell him. So many wrong ideas could be made if she told them what she was ninety-nine percent sure their intentions were. Yeah, no. That wasn’t going to happen. Instead, Rey diverted him from the topic, feigning being stressed— which wasn’t all that fake— to get him to start helping her get armored up.

He was much better at helping someone get into armor than standing to get his put on. Turns out, Rey much preferred Ben’s squiring abilities to Poe’s. It was probably because he knew what it was like to have to put all eighty pounds of metal on his body and knew what worked. He may have been over-controlling to the point of concussion giving when he was the one standing there, but it turns out that controlling manner helped when he was the one putting it on. Ben knew exactly where to put everything, and Rey could honestly say it was the quickest and most efficient armor job she ever had.

“You’re ready to go,” He said as he gave her a clanging pat on the back. “I’ll go grab Finn.” Rey nodded in response and started on her way to the mounting block, trying not to watch Ben as he ran off in the direction of the barn.

She stood in the shade waiting, relishing in the giddy feeling that was starting to develop in her stomach. So many people hated butterflies. Rey was not one of them. They helped her get into a groove, get a game face on. It was how she knew she was ready.

Finn arrived with Bee in tow a couple of minutes later. Ben was only a few steps behind. His ears were red.

Finn was smirking.

_Oh no._

Something was said, that much she knew. Rey ran through the list of millions contemplating on what exactly could have transpired while she was waiting. All her possible combinations were bad.

She forced the thought out of her head, trying to focus only on the task at hand. Getting on, and getting shit done.

That being said it was not easy. Especially since Ben only appeared to blush more as he approached.

_Nope, not thinking about it._ She hoped saying it enough would make it true.

She stepped up onto the mounting block, preparing the only thing harder than the actual jousting itself. Getting on. With her limited range of motion, she shifted her foot into the stirrup and counted to three. She heard the echo of Finn and Ben behind her and heaved herself into the saddle. Except she apparently didn’t heave hard enough. Her armor was dragging her back down before she knew it.

Luckily two hands came up to meet her and force her back into the saddle.

Unfortunately, those two hands were Ben’s and they landed directly on her butt. But she wasn’t going to think about that too hard.

Yeah… She wasn’t going to think about that too hard.

The horn blared not a second later, sparing her from the undeniable things that were going through her head.

_Getting on is finished. All that’s left is getting shit done._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me, screaming over how freaking overwhelmed I am at the moment. 
> 
> I am hoping to actually write soon, but as it turns out juggling life is really fucking hard. Needless to say, it is a good thing I wrote chapters ahead.
> 
> So... about this chapter. 
> 
> I really hope it doesn't feel like filler. I realized that I had the same sort of shirtless, dressing, etc scene and whelp.. what am I going to do? It's in there.. Maybe when I go through and edit this it will change but as for right now, I hope its not too close to the first scene that yall are like 'really? again?'
> 
> It was pretty much a given that Finn, Poe, and Rose (and basically the entire WIMASC group) are in on trying to set these two ridiculous beans up.   
> Also, I realize the continuity in this story is crap. Fun fact: Most of Olivia's fics have this thing in common.  
> If you guys notice something that you think shouldn't be there or something that was mentioned earlier and is completely different now please let me know.
> 
> Thank you all for reading♥


	13. Wise Men Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYYYEEEEE OHHHH IVE STARTED ON THE SMUT CHAPTER
> 
> So the chapter count may go up... Im not 100% sure yet but... we shall see
> 
> also, I have no idea what this is so

Rey was winning. Ben had told her as much on her last water break with a reassuring hand on her leg. Although she may have the lead, she wasn’t sure she’d keep it. Her last competitor left to face off against was Jannah, and much to Rey’s delight and dismay, she was good. Jannah currently was only three points behind her according to Ben when she asked him.

She had to either win every pass or tie on every pass to keep her streak. It wasn’t that she cared if Jannah won, she thought it would be a delight and a great way to welcome a new jouster, but there was little that could stop that competitive fire that ran through her veins.

Ben latched on her visor and Rey was off toward the list, Ben sneaking Bee-Bee one last treat before they were gone. One deep breath later and their pass was over.

They both struck and they both tied.

_So far so good._

She handed off her lance to Finn as Poe grabbed Bee and lead him away from the lane.

“You got this hun,” he yelled up to her as she walked to the other side to load into the lane again. The second she arrived Ben was there, all reassurances and what Rey might have assumed might have been a smile if she could see him. He asked if she needed anything, to which Rey shook her head. She really had to give him credit, he was an amazing squire.

Maybe that made up for the snark that marked his perfection points to ninety-five percent. Rey really couldn’t deny that he was a one-hundred. Maybe that should have told her something.

“Hey, Rey!” Ben called up to her as Elle lead her toward the lane. “Stick em’ with the pointy end!” She smiled at his comment, a new sort of fire lacing through her. What they had now was good, great even. She would be sad to depart in two days, now that this newfound balance existed between them. Not overthink and expect the unlikely, that is what got her here. She planned to stay with that idea in order to maintain the homeostasis that she was now very much dependent on.

Elle led her into the lane. She saw Jannah entering the tilt from the other end, they both gave their signal and they were off. The clanging of armor and the thunder of Bee’s hooves raced through her like a battle drum, spiking her adrenaline and honing her senses. There was a rightness in her bones as she sped off, lowering her lance and getting it in the cradle. Her lance landed the blow she intended, and she let the feeling settle in her bones. Jannah hadn’t broken her lance on Rey’s shield, she hadn’t broken it at all.

The smile Rey made as she handed off her lance was big enough to hurt her cheeks. She patted Bee on the neck. One more pass and she’d be done for the day. Luckily her excitement kept her energized, though the weight of her armor and the sunny day had drained all her energy out in the form of sweat and exhausted sighs.

She was ready to face of Jannah for the final pass, and because she was insured to be in tomorrow’s joust, she was excited to face against her again. Rey was also excited to see how Ben fared against her.

Going through the motions she was put back into the lane, Ben congratulated her, Bee pawed impatiently, and she cantered off for her final strike.

The second Bee’s feet lifted off of the ground Rey knew something was wrong. She couldn’t get her lance in the correct position, and Bee was going too fast and wasn’t in the right spot in the lane.

Jannah hit her square in the chest, and the next thing Rey knew she was on the ground with a fiery pain racing through her side and throbbing in her ankle. She could have sworn she saw a glimpse of Bee-Bee’s hooves in the slit of her visor and was ninety percent sure she momentarily got her foot stuck in the stirrup of her saddle.

Her body was shaking from the spike of adrenaline and her brain was still recovering from her unhorsing. So much so that Rey didn’t even realize Ben was there until he unlatched her visor.

His face was struck with worry, the tenderness causing her already endorphin rushed brain to blur her vision with tears. She wasn’t badly hurt, that much Rey knew. Hurt she would have recognized, like the time she broke her arm and she screamed as Finn cut the leather straps that kept on her armor and took it off to reveal the broken fragment of her radius piercing her skin and sticking out of her arm. She knew the pain of her stomach screaming at her on her third day without a solid meal. This was nothing compared to those instances, but that didn’t stop tears from sliding down her face and into her ears as she stayed laying on the ground peering up at him.

“You okay?” Ben asked, both arms resting by her sides. Rey nodded as much as her helmet would allow. He looked up and raised his arm, thumbs pointing up in the air, probably informing their audience and other crew members that she was okay.

Finn came up next and upon seeing she was okay chucked and said, “That was one hell of a fall peanut.”

“Yeah well I hoped they liked it,” Rey responded, nodding over to the, now clapping, audience. Ben smiled and moved to help her up, strong arms wrapping around her armored chest. Their faces were so close with him leaning over her like that. She knew it was so he could get a better grip on her. She knew it was illogical to kiss him, to want to kiss him, but in that moment with his eyes locked on her Rey couldn’t help it.

“I really want to kiss you.” It was spoken so softly Rey knew Finn would be unable to hear the words as they left her lips. It was meant for Ben, and the message was received. He stopped in his movements and blinked rapidly as if unable to process that the words she had spoken were actually true.

Rey really could barely believe it either.

She could blame on the fall, blame it on her being not quite in her head. But what good would that do? It might have been the impact, the jarring, that put the idea in her brain. The stereotypical ‘I thought I might die without you ever knowing my feelings’ shit she always swooned over in fantasy novels but one thing Rey knew for sure. They had one day left at WIMASC. Two days left of living out whatever _it_ was that they had. That they always had and she just hadn’t realized, and she didn’t want to leave here without an answer she could rely on.

Rey would either get over it and they could remain friends at his dismissal, or there could be something more at his agreement. Either way, she couldn’t deny herself an answer.

Ben went back to helping her up, acting as if her words weren’t uttered. For a moment she wondered if they even were. She was in a sitting position gathering her thoughts when he leaned over. “Not yet.”

The words sent a spike of something through her spine. Something she had been denying herself of feeling.

It wasn’t spoken about again. Not when they ran her through the classic concussion questions as Ben rested a steady hand on her shoulder. Not when they ate lunch and she rested before the chase. Not when they both came in second place in the chase under Zorri. It was okay though, Rey didn’t need words when his eyes said it all. Every time she glanced in his direction he was there. Not alarmingly, and not obsessive, just a gentle presence and reminder that they would talk later. That things needed to be said.

The anticipation killed her.

Everyone was a good sport at dinner and congratulated all the events of the day. They reveled and laughed, experiencing one of the last nights in its entirety and preparing for the day to come. Rey enjoyed the company and the comfort of the family she had formed in their group, but she couldn’t think of anything besides the need to speak to Ben.

She excused herself from the group, feigning utter exhaustion even though the reality, despite the fact that she had taken a tumble, her body was like a live wire of emotion. Ben watched her as she went but didn’t appear to make a move to leave yet. She had to control her thoughts in order to shower and walk back to the cabin.

Ben met her at the exit of the bathrooms, something tucked under his arm.

“You showering?” She asked, wondering if possibly he was there for the reasons she had been awaiting all evening.

“I did earlier.” Rey tried to figure out when exactly he had slipped away and done that.

“Ah.” Anxiety formed in her chest as she waited for him to mention what she said earlier. Rey refused to mention it. Whether because she wanted him to decide how to proceed with this _thing_ that they had or because she didn’t know if she could actually get the words out, Rey didn’t know.

She starting walking back to the cabin, too anxious to stand there and watch him. Ben followed.

They got about halfway back to the cabin before she couldn’t take it anymore. They were right by the ‘pirate ship’ that sat by the lake, the place they spoke the last year that caused her heart to break and her emotions harden when Rey said, “Are you going to say _anything_?” She hoped the distress in her voice was masked by the annoyance. In the moment she couldn’t help but think that maybe her assumptions were wrong. Maybe he didn’t want her and there wasn’t any talking to be had. That all the looks Rey thought she received today were a coincidence and she would be left to suffer silently.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” His voice was soft, almost unheard past the rustling of the grass under her feet.

She stopped walking. “Do what Ben?” Rey had no clue what he wanted, no clue what he meant. Her brain could assume, her thoughts could race, and it would get her nowhere. She needed him to confirm something. _Anything._

“This.” A half-formed answer if she knew one.

“You are going to have to speak your mind, Ben. I can’t tell anything with you.” Her frustrations were apparent, her heart already going into guard mode at the possibility of rejection.

“Do you want me?” There was no doubt in Rey’s mind that she wanted him, she thought that was blatantly apparent. She said she wanted to kiss him, she has been flirtatious and flustered. It wasn’t about her. It was about him.

“Yes, Ben,” she decided to admit. “I’ve wanted you since who knows how long. That much is obvious. What I don’t understand is how you can give me all these signs and then tell me you don’t want to be friends.” She was still reeling from last year. On what transpired.

“I didn’t… You said!” His voice was raised, in what Rey recognized was not anger but hurt. It lowered back to the warm bass that she knew before he continued. “You said you needed a break from me. That I was, and I quote, ‘too much’.”

_Fuck._

He continued. “I thought I misread you. I figured I was holding on too tight to the hope that you reciprocated my feelings. I was holding on, and I needed to let go.” He ran a hand through his hair and his eyes flickered, unfocused on the ground. “But I couldn’t let go.”

She realized then that his words spoken that night were meant as a proposal. He was trying to tell her how he wanted more, and she shut it down before she could finish, too afraid of getting hurt to listen.

“And what are your feelings?” She asked tentatively, placing one hand on the bare flesh of his arm and squeezing lightly. He looked up at her and in his eyes flickered something she recognized in herself. 

Hope.

“Rey,” He paused laying a hand over hers. “I can’t help falling in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... Was most of this unnecessary, rushed, unfeeling?  
> Probably...  
> whatever 
> 
> imtrying


	14. Toaster Oven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL I DID IT. I DIDNT CHICKEN OUT. I WROTE THE SMUT GET READYYYYY.
> 
> Mind you, its not great so please understand I am not quite a smut writing virgin, but I am still very new so...
> 
> Also IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO POST. Its quite long, and smut takes me a bit to write soooooo it took me a bit longer than expected. Its about twice the word count than a usual chapter so like I said GET READY.
> 
> Lastly, I was so excited to post this that I haven't gone through and read it again to look for any mistakes so if you catch some that's why.
> 
> LETS GOOOOOOO

Time had passed, Rey knew that logically it had. Crickets started chirping, and somewhere off in the distance another firefly blinked, but she felt simultaneously stuck in place.

Ben was stock still in front of her, with the exception of his mouth which anxiously moved in the pouty, rubbed together way that she had long since recognized as a nervous tick of his. Her words froze in her mouth upon hearing his confession, her brain in far too much shock to process, let alone act. 

She was struck by the fact that his feelings for her were so pressing. That he had held on for so long. That he couldn’t let go. 

Rey needed someone who wouldn’t be able to let her go. She couldn’t survive being abandoned again, and she knew— just had a gut feeling— that she’d be safe with him. 

There were no words she could force out of her lips because there were no words to describe that feeling. It was routine yet adventure, pain yet pleasure, agreement yet controversy. A complete contradiction and yet a perfect answer. 

She wanted to laugh, wanted to cry. 

Wanted to kiss him until his lips were puffy and red and their breathless intakes of air were all that filled the silence around them. 

Tears filled her eyes as she did just that. The composure Ben had held slipped through his fingers like sand, his hands shaking as they landed lightly on her waist. 

There was a desperate intensity in the way they connected. Rey was afraid she would open her eyes and realize that it was all a dream, that her desperation was from trying to fit in every minute she could before she inevitability woke up to find it all an unobtainable desire. But it was real. The hands running up her sides and burrowing into her hair were his. The sighs escaping from his lips were legitimate. 

Ben was here, and there was nothing she’d rather do than get lost in him. 

His kisses evoked a feeling from her she couldn’t control. It was any and every good thing she could think of jumbled into the best thing she would ever have. 

“So this is,” Ben spoke between kisses, as though he couldn’t stop himself. “Okay? We’re—” Another kiss. “Okay?” 

Rey paused, moving the hands from his hair— _how did they get there?_ — to cup under his jaw. The freedom to do what she had once fought so hard against was overwhelming. She ran a finger rhythmically over where the soft skin of his neck bunched under his chin as he looked down at her. She was going to kiss that spot eventually. 

Again, she couldn’t respond. Rey only gazed up at him before scooting as close as she could get before absorbing into him completely. She closed her eyes. 

“I want you.” It came out as a whisper, too precious for even the crickets to hear. “And I don’t ever want you to let me go.”

Ben didn’t need to say anything else, and he didn’t. Every word was already communicated, escaping from his warmth and seeping into her. They sat like that until her tears dissolved into a tentative smile. 

As much as Rey thought the night couldn’t get any more fantastical somehow it did. Ben picked her up in his arms and carried her all the way back to the cabin. Of course for Ben the action was fucking effortless. Just a _fwoop_ and bam, there she was being carried away like some princess in the arms of a literal prince. 

Somehow, despite having a full grown Rey in his arms, Ben had also picked up her duffel and the air mattress which was now steadily thumping against her thigh. What Ben still needed the mattress for Rey couldn’t guess. 

“I swear, if you blow up that mattress I will personally see to your complete demise tomorrow.” She felt his smile morph the air around them.

“Can’t stand to sleep without me huh?” 

“Hey hey! In my defense I get outrageously cold when I sleep and you’re really warm.” She felt the rumble in his chest that signified he heard her though didn’t believe her statement. “No seriously. I swear you run like one-hundred and ten. You burn up. Or maybe I’m just ice cold. Either way.” 

“That’s just the toaster oven. Always like that.” 

“Ah I see. Well then I guess tonight will be the first time I fuck a toaster oven.” Rey felt him tense under her words, almost in what she could assume was shock— what Rey was praying to god wasn’t opposition. 

“It’s a rite of passage you know.” The cabin was in sight now, its singular porch light illuminating the eventual events of the evening. Rey could have swore Ben’s pace increased. 

“Oh?” She asked, trying not to bubble over with the anticipation she had felt rising the second she said those words 

“Yes. Once you fuck a toaster oven there is no going back. You will be stuck with that oven, like that one wooden spoon that is so beaten up that you never use it, or that really old set of pampered chef tupperware that has the spaghetti stains but for some reason is still the first container you grab when you need to store something.” 

“Wait, so we’ve evolved from a toaster oven to spaghetti stained tupperware? Somehow I don’t think that is the level up you were looking for.” She needed to stall, they were so close to the cabin, but Rey was so close to throwing all caution to the wind and fucking him right then and there. 

He didn’t have a response for her, at least not one he was verbally saying. Rey careened in his arms to try and get a glimpse of his face. He looked down at her right before directly fixing his gaze back up, as if merely the act of looking at her would send him off the edge. At least, Rey hoped that was the case. She knew it more than was for her. 

Her arm was laced up and around his— still very broad— shoulders and the edges of her fingertips barely came to rest at the nape of his neck. Rey’s fingers acted on their own accord, rubbing rhythmic circles into the soft skin that lay there. She put all her focus into her fingers, reminding herself the importance of patience. His hair was free for playing, so Rey did the only logical thing and took it in her hand. She scratched his scalp and twirled the lusciousness she had pined over for so long. Ben moaned over her actions. 

She risked glancing over to him again. His eyes were still fixed on a singular point, the cabin. The only difference now was that every so often when her nails scraped his skull _just right_ he would rapidly close his eyes in some form of what Rey could only assume was pleasure-induced concentration. 

There were more words to be said. Rey knew this, but yet she couldn’t force words out of her mouth. Hell, she couldn’t even think of them. Her brain was gone, with only one word resonating like a battle drum. 

_Ben. Ben. Ben._

Her eyes were glued to him. So much so that she didn’t realize they had arrived until Ben climbed up the two steps and abruptly halted. 

He finally, _finally_ , looked down at her eyes meeting her own. Soft brown eyes, that was always her description. Like melted chocolate, or something equally as rich. Now though… Now they weren’t soft at all. They were luring. His pupils were blown as wide as she’d ever seen them, the blackness taking up any space Rey could imagine and drawing her deeper into him. 

“Hey,” Ben said, voice filled with a strained hesitance.

“Hey.” 

Just like that, the dam broke. He dropped her legs and the second her feet hit the deck of the cabin his lips were on hers. This was nothing like their first kiss only moments earlier. Any part of the hesitant Ben she had talked with earlier was gone, the man in front of her now was vulnerable past the point of nervousness. There were no barriers. He swept her off her feet, and now was grounding her to reality. 

Reality was him. 

They were tongue and teeth, too in the moment to care about the unorganized manner of which they tasted each other. The intensity of their feelings came off of them in waves, both parties crashing into each other. 

He nudged her backward, guiding her through the frenzy until her back landed on the door to the cabin. She was glad he was present enough to know a sense of direction because she sure as hell didn’t. Her back twinged slightly reminding her of her tumble earlier and the bruises that undoubtedly lay beneath her clothes. Rey couldn’t find it in her to care. 

She grabbed for his pants, belt, anything she could get her hands. Ben’s hands came to rest on either side of her head, palms flat on the door, caging her in. He stopped kissing her. 

“As much as I want to fuck you, I really don’t feel it’s a good idea to do it out here,” Ben breathlessly said. 

His words drug her slightly back into focus. “What? You don’t want everyone to know what I sound like when I come?” She tried for sarcastic seduction but her words only came out hurried and needy, her body to riled to emit a better response.

“No,” Ben growled. Her response to his voice was immediate. “That is for my ears _only._ No one else’s.” Her cunt throbbed as he spoke. The rumble of his voice settled in her core and sat there, waiting. 

“Well, then you better get to it.” 

The door opened behind her and they tumbled in, the cold air from the window A/C unit running into her like a wall. Her body was hot, from the heat of a Texas evening, yes, but another heat simmered below that. She started stripping the second the door closed, wasting no time. Gooseflesh rose on her skin as she tossed her shirt onto Ben’s, now fully deflated, air mattress. 

After her shower she hadn’t put back on the torture device one calls a bra, a detail Rey was ninety-nine percent sure Ben was thanking the gods about now. He paused undoing his belt to look at her, an expression Rey didn’t dare classify forming on his face. 

She stood completely still except for the rushed kicking off of her shorts as he bounded over to her, eyes roving all across her body. His hands found her hips first, hands coming to wrap almost around her entire torso. 

“God. You’re magnificent,” he uttered at his hands ran across the flat of her stomach and up to her chest. “Every part of you sets me on fire.” Her legs were going to give out. She would spontaneously combust. There was no control left, even less when he brought his mouth to her breast and gently worked her nipple. 

She had died and gone to heaven, or maybe hell. Rey couldn’t tell you which one, not when he was causing her to fray at the seams. 

Her hands were in his hair again as she moaned. She didn’t think she could come at just the working of her tits, yet here she was, inching closer and closer to the inevitable orgasm that she was sure would rake through her entire body and yet somehow leave her wanting more. 

It felt like every spot he touched left an imprint on her skin. As if she was permanently branded by him, and it appeared if that was the case she’d be entirely covered. His hands had traveled everywhere, as if they needed to confirm she was really there, savoring the contact as much as she did. Rey was reveling in his touch, both soft and yet entirely too rough. There she was again with the contradictions. Maybe Ben himself was a contradiction. 

He removed his lips from her breast and worked his way down farther. They kissed gingerly along her stomach, one on her leg. Ben turned her around and kissed along her spine and then up on her shoulder. She felt a small twinge and realized, he was kissing her bruises from her fall earlier that day. 

“Ben?” He hummed and she felt it on her skin, the vibrations making her hair rise. It was sweet. Incredibly so, but not what Rey currently wanted. “Could you go back to what you were doing?” 

“Did you want more?” For some reason Rey hadn’t expected that response. The snarky little bastard. Her body was still thrumming with pleasure, the warmth reminding her of where that was leading. the wetness from where his mouth had been cooled and only brought her back to stark reality. Rey wanted to push him to the floor and demand that he fuck her fair and square, but the glint in his eyes showed his clear enjoyment so instead she talked her mind out of the thought and turned her attention toward his implication. 

“Are you teasing me Ben?” Rey asked trying to act as normal as possible, as if she hadn’t been just seconds away from an orgasm. 

“Are _you_ questioning me?” Oh, she saw how this was going to be. That was fine. Two could play at that game. 

“No sir,” Rey replied as she made her way toward the ladder that led to the loft. The temptation to add a wink was hard to resist but she kept her head forward and eyes up in defiance, trying to act as if this really wasn’t phasing her even though her body was still very flammable. 

Rey could resist the urge to wink, but the perfectly timed butt shimmy was impossible to forgo. The ladder had creaked as he climbed up after her, his hands right on her heals, and the second she reached the top and half climbed into the loft she wiggled her assets. 

She was surprised to find his hand on her ass, grabbing at her underwear and pulling them off. The giddy squeal of surprised delight barely covered the tell tale _click-click-clack_ sound of seams ripping. 

“Don’t you dare rip them. This is my favorite pair and I only have one other clean set with me!” 

“I’ll buy you new ones.” Oh she would love to see that sight. Ben Solo and his massive self inside a Victoria’s Secret handling tiny pieces of lingerie with his fucking gigantic hands probably looking awkward as hell out of whatever element he was currently in. What a sight indeed. 

“Okay, then I’m dragging you to the store with me and there’s no way you’re getting out of it. I expect full participation in helping me choose and a reimbursement of at least three additional pairs.” 

“Got it.” There was a stutter in his movements before he added, “I wouldn’t miss such a once in a lifetime opportunity.” 

“You’re going to miss one right now if you don’t get on with it.” And with that her panties were gone. 

“They weren’t period appropriate anyway.” Rey scoffed at his words as she hopped onto the air mattress, watching him climb up the rest of the way. 

As cheesy as it sounded she couldn’t help but admire him as he gleamed in the moonlight that was coming through the small circular window up above her. Rey still couldn’t believe this was actually happening. 

“What gave you the right to be so damn attractive?” She asked, the filter from her brain now apparently gone forever. 

That did it. Rey saw his ears go red around the edges and his face shifted into a small self-conscious smirk that was so endearing she actually felt her heart as it expanded seventeen sizes in her chest. 

He wordlessly moved to meet her, and cupped her face. It appeared this whole night was going to be something out of a cliche romance novel because he looked into her eyes in a way that one could only describe in one of those overdone ways that made you simultaneously blush and roll your eyes. It was ridiculously perfect and Rey wasn’t going to forget a second of it. 

Ben kissed her some more. And then some more after that, a new desperate pace being set as he rutted into the mattress. The man still didn’t have his damn pants off but every time she tried to help him in removing the retched article of clothing he pushed her hand away muttering something about letting him savor the moment or some shit. Its not that Rey was complaining, she was more than happy with the amount of times he had gotten her off with his fingers but in layman’s terms, she wanted to see his dick and she definitely wanted it inside of her.

She tried a third time, finally succeeding in getting a button undone— a new personal best— before he grabbed her hand. In the darkness his skin was pale, lit up only by the moonlight, but his eyes were a solar eclipse; dark enough to swallow her whole but desire was the sunlight that glistened behind his gaze. 

“Let me taste you first.” It was a statement, but the phrasing was like a tender question that laced his plush lips as they kissed her hand, and Rey would never deny him anything… except maybe winning WIMASC. This though? When he was doing her the highest of favors and appeared to be desperate to do so? Never. 

She nodded, too struck with feeling to do much else. 

Gooseflesh broke out on her skin as Ben lay kissed along her stomach. He spoke between each one, sending praises into her brain to further crowd her sense of being. She was elated, beyond that really, like a balloon filled with helium let go to fly to the clouds except Rey doubted she’d ever come down. 

“I love everything about you.” Rey wasn’t sure she was breathing anymore, his words, his being too much for her to handle. 

“I love the way you walk.” He moved back up to kiss the valley of her breasts as if he had too much to say and wanted to start over to make the experience last. Ben roved downward to the jut of her ribs as she lifted her back off the bed in a breathy moan. “I love the way you smell.” He was right above the curls of her mound. It took everything in her to stay still as he lay a massive hand over the spot he kissed and gingerly used his thumb to play with her clit. “I love watching you ride, watching how your nose crinkles up when your happy.” 

He paused sinking lower down the bed until she could feel his breath on her folds as he said, “But most of all, I love watching you come.” 

His tongue pressed down on her, attacking Rey with warmth that sank farther into her core than she could have imagined possible, especially since she was ninety-nine percent sure she was currently a blazing flame. 

Her mind was whitened out by pleasure and she responded by muttering incoherent words. Rey was sure she moaned his name a few times. She brought herself back to coherency enough to say, “I never thought a toaster oven would eat me out so good.” 

He chuckled against her and hummed into her cunt, the vibrations sending her into another frenzy. 

She came without notice, or maybe she had been so keyed up the entire time that she was on the verge of an orgasm the entire time. Ben rode her through it all, not letting her ride off of the high without forgetting who got her there. His tongue did its job dutifully before Ben brought his lips around her clit and sucked again and again not letting her come up for air. Rey was wondering if Ben needed to literally come up for air but he kept at it, even as her legs wrapped around his head. He just stayed at it, humming and sucking and working her through it. 

When she finally released him he rose up over her, self-satisfied smirk on his face. 

“Holy shit.” It was all Rey could say. What _was_ she supposed to say after that. 

He collapsed down on the bed next to her, eyes on her. Rey brought her hand up and ran it across his chest. He breaths stuttered underneath her. She wondered if her hands were cold. 

The only noise in the room was that of the old window air conditioner and Ben’s breathing. He didn’t make to move, but Rey wasn’t done. She propped herself up on her forearms and shuffled over to him before getting on her knees and straddling his torso. Her hands were still on his chest, now moving up past his pecs and running over his collarbones before moving to trace the scar she gave him ages ago. 

She used his body to prop herself up on as she slid down his stomach until her ass was propped against his straining cock. 

He was still watching her. Rey hoped this got added to the list of things he loved about her; things he loved watching her do. 

His hands gripped the sheets as she wiggled against him experimentally. She wanted to mess with him until he took over, until he couldn’t take it anymore and fucked her with abandon. Besides, it was only fair right? 

Rey tried some more, rolling her hips around and rutting into him right above where she really wanted to be. She reveled in watching the expanse of him flutter underneath her, the soft skin of his stomach rippling as he breathed. Ben seemed determined to let her play as long as she needed, but then again his pants weren’t off yet. 

Moving even lower she nipped at the skin right above where his pants started, licking the spot gently before she moved her hands up his legs. His thighs flexed as she ran her hands over the softened denim. 

“Are you having fun, sweetheart?” His words sounded quite forced. Rey smirked. 

“Mmhmm. Are _you_?” She grabbed the button of his pants with her teeth and pulled, successfully lifting the waistband a few inches before opening her bite and letting it fall back onto his body. 

“ _Fuck_ , Rey you–"

“Hmm? What’s that?” Her hands deftly unbuttoned his jeans and ripped them down. He lifted his hips to aid in the undressing before he sat up, wrapped two massive hands around her waist, and hoisted her above him before flipping both of them over and tearing off his underwear. It didn’t exactly register as multiple movements in Rey’s head, more like one fluid action. Regardless, it was all sort of blacked out once the realization hit that she would be getting her wish. 

And her wish she got. 

Rey’s legs were open with one nudge from his knee as Ben brought his hands up her body. 

He pinned her wrists and did something else Rey can’t remember because yes, there he is, nudging at her entrance. She was ready. Rey had been ready for this moment for years. 

She sighed, not because it hurt as he entered her— even though the stretch was a little painful even with how keyed up she was because he was just that big— but because this, this was right. 

“You okay?” He asked as he paused. 

“Keep going.” 

“That’s not a yes.” _No Ben, it’s not a yes but you better keep going or so help me._

“ _Keep_ going.” 

“Okay,” he breathed into her hair. 

There was no more stopping after that. Instead, it felt as if time had simultaneously slowed down and sped up. Every movement was enhanced but yet everything was lost to a fuzzy mind. All Rey knew was it felt good, beyond good. That was all she needed to know.

The noises of their movements were filthy, but the sound of his grunts and attempts at words only helped spread more joy to her already rejoicing brain. He was there and she was getting the sex of a lifetime, and she was so _full_ she could hardly stand it. Rey had no idea what would happen after this, but she couldn’t find it in her to care because _ah_ , there it was. That creeping up her spine, and rolling of her stomach. She wasn’t one to come without some sort of external stimulation but apparently there was a time for everything. 

Her orgasm was a tidal wave, washing in and out as she fluttered around him. Ben came a moment later with a sharp intake of breath and a half-formed ‘fuck’ on his lips. He collapsed onto her an slowly slid out before rolling off of her. 

“Fuck, I’m an idiot.” 

“What?” She hoped he didn’t regret it. That would be just her luck. One fuck. That’s the chance she got to make it count and he hates it.

“I forgot protection.” Rey loosed a breath and nestled up by his side. 

“You’re good. I’ve got an IUD.” 

“You didn’t even ask if I was clean. I didn’t even tell you,” He says, like her birth control isn’t an excuse for their irresponsible actions. 

“I trusted you enough to believe you’d tell me something like that.” He still looked uneasy. 

“Hun, it’s fine,” She reiterated hoping her confidence would help in the matter.

“I have a hunch I was conceived in this cabin, I feel like it’s some sort of ju-ju.” 

Rey couldn’t help it, she flat out laughed. “I never expected you to ever say the words ‘ju-ju’.” She brought her arms around him and buried further into his side breathing him in. “It’s okay, Ben.” 

He kissed her hair. 

“I love you.” 

Rey smiled up at him. 

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhh so they talked about toaster ovens and Tupperware... too weird? 
> 
> I managed to get a burn this reference in this aayyeeee 
> 
> I really don't know how to chapter or write im just aojfjasdjfnjd so that's what this is but this fic is my baby so im glad I got the guts to do this.
> 
> The chapter count _might_ go up but im going to try to keep it 15. if it goes up itll have to go up to 18 though because my brain doesn't let me end it on 16 or 17. Its like the same reason I cant leave the volume on those numbers. IT JUST DOESNT WORK
> 
> AND THANK YOU ALL FOR READING I LOVE YOU ALL♥♥♥
> 
> TAGS ABOUT TO CHANGE YEET


	15. Better Watch Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THIS IS IT. I FINISHED A FIC AND I DONT TOTALLY, COMPLETELY, ABSOLUTELY HATE IT!
> 
> okay so this is a pretty short chapter. I just really wanted to wrap this up, and wrap it up before the TRoS trailer.  
> THANK ALL OF YOU DEAR GOD I WOULDNT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SURVIVE WITHOUT YALL. YOU HAVE BROUGHT ME SO MUCH HAPPINESS WITH YOUR COMMENTS. 
> 
> Id like to super thank @KyloRing for being an amazing beta and helping me through this fic every step of the way. 
> 
> IHLSKDJFLASDFIDFBU OKAY HERE IT IS.

Change was both scary and exciting. That was the first thought Rey had as she lay in bed with Ben’s arms wrapped around her as he breathed into her neck. Hours had passed, yet it felt like days. Somehow she just knew that this, whatever it was, was right.

She had no clue where they were going, if this bout of pent up emotion would lead to something more or if that was all it was, pent up emotion that was now released and would fade away until Ben forgot she even existed. _That_ scared her. It scared her because she wanted more and wasn’t used to receiving it. Her parents left her. Luke quit teaching her. And even though her friends were still there the threat of being alone was always just below her skin.

_You’re not alone._

No, Ben had said that. Rey just had to believe he meant it.

She took a deep breath and sank further into his warmth. Today was a new day, and she knew what she had to do. Whoop Ben’s ass in the joust by using any means necessary. Right now though? She could lay with him a little longer.

~~~

 

“You ready?” Ben had asked as she pulled her hair back with a leather string. Ben was laying gently kisses along the crook of her neck as if he couldn’t bear not touching her. It made her relax into him, her worries from earlier evaporating into the air, hopefully never to be seen again. 

After inspecting her hair she looked at him through the tiny mirror in the cabin. Rey didn’t think she’d ever get over his eyes, they just drew her in. She brought her right hand to run through his hair and trace the shell of his ears. He loved getting his ears touched. That was something she found out that morning as she was debating how to wake him up. Some random spurt of courage had her shifting, resisting his pulls to get her to lay back down on him, to plant a kiss right on the soft skin behind his ear. It was one of the many kisses she shared with him that morning.

“You know it.” She meant to sound cocksure, snarky, _something_ other than the breathless words that escaped her lips. It was kind of a moot point though since his hands were now kneading her breasts. She was trying to gather some sort of composure.

“Are you ready for the teasing that Poe is inevitably going to give you?” Rey asked as she spun around to meet him. “Lord knows I’m not going to hear the end of it with them.”

“Will it really be that obvious?”

“Considering Rose had already asked me if you fucked me yet I’d say yes.” And there was the fact that his eyes gave away _everything_ and she was just too stupid to actually put two and two together for years.

“What’s the verdict? Do you want to pretend we aren’t a thing, or go out there and make it blatantly obvious.” Rey couldn’t get over how strange this was with him. It was good strange. Like the strange that you felt when you’re talking about something really ridiculous with friends but all of them get it. Or the beautiful strange of traveling to a different country and seeing just how everything works.

“Are we going to be a thing?” Rey asked hesitantly. She was hoping against hope that he meant it, but she needed the reassurance. There was a gumption that possessed Rey when she was going down the list but apparently all of that confidence decides to say adios and leave when it came to stuff like this.

“Do you think I’m just ignore everything that just happened? I was stupid for like three years Rey. I’m Tupperware remember? There’s no getting rid of me now.” Thank god this man exists.

“Don’t let me leave you.” _Shit._ She had tears now. Rey looked up in a failed attempt to get rid of them. “I love you.”

“I know sweetheart. I love you too.” Rey heard his words through a rumble in his chest as she was pressed against him.

She sniffled, _screw emotions_ , and then took a step back and composed herself. “Let's go and pretend we’ve been together for years.” Rey decided that would shake Rose up so much that she wouldn’t even know what to say. She told Ben as much.

“That’s the best idea then. Besides, it won’t be that hard to pretend.” He shot her a wink before opening the cabin door. He was stopped in the door frame. Rey looked up at him on her way out. 

“I know, I feel it too.”

That only made Ben smile the very rare, very precious, bright smile she loved so much.

 

~~~

 

Ben sat down next to her at breakfast and kissed her forehead. She turned to meet his lips.

Rey could hear everyone go quiet, could practically see her friends shocked expressions.

The whole tent erupted into applause a second later and shouts of “oh thank fuck finally” make her choke down laughter.

Ben’s ears were red when they separated, a shy smile on his lips as she took his hand in hers before digging into her chocolate-peanut butter waffle.

 

~~~

 

“Was it good?” Those were Rose’s first words as she burst into the tent, armor in tow. It was the type of phrasing that would deserve three question marks and exclamation points over text message. Maybe even a smirking emoji.

Rey knew exactly what she was talking about. “Hmm?” She said instead, feigning confusion.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about Rey. Spill the beans. Spill the tea. Spill whatever other item is used in a phrase that means ‘tell me dammit!’”

The smile Rey was working so hard on holding back peeked through and Rose was gone, jumping up and down flinging her pauldrons around like a madwoman.

“Oh thank god y’all finally did it. Everyone has been waiting for _years_.”

“What do you mean years?”

“Honey, did you not expect us to all see the blatant sexual tension y'all have been leaking since you two laid eyes on each other? It was so obvious we were wondering if something was wrong with y’all to not have just fucked already.”

“Oh god,” Rey said bringing her palm to her face.

“I mean it’s a good thing we took measures into our own hands.” Rey looked up at her abruptly giving her the ‘what do you mean’ eye. Rose only raised her hands in surrender and turned around, starting on Rey’s armor. “Hey, don’t get mad at me. It was Finn, Poe, and Temmin’s idea.”

Rey rubbed her eyes wondering how Ben was fairing with Poe.

 

~~~

 

“And the winner for the Chase with an overall score of 25 points is… Zorri Bliss!” Rey and Ben looked over at each other both a little surprised it wasn’t either of them. Zorri took her pin and put it on with pride, giving a resounding whoop and sending a thumbs up to Jannah who was waiting on results for the joust.

“Now, what we’ve all been waiting for, results on the joust.” Rey had done well. She had broken every lance and stayed an available target. It was always a close round. Ben had also broken every lance, the only difference this year was that Jannah was there. And she was good.

“The winner of this year's Wren’s International Medieval Arms Spring Competition joust is Sir Jannah of Pasaana. Congratulations!” The audience erupted into cheers.

“And in second place we have… Oh, wait we actually have a tie here. Sir Rey of Jakku and Sir Kylo Ren of Alderaan.” Rey and Ben both bowed and then gave each other a shared look. They didn’t win, but this year they’d have each other to practice with.

Jannah better look out next year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this closure? Is this how you end a fic?  
> IM nOt sUrE. sOMeOnE hElP mE
> 
> So, is this chapter sort of half assed? Yeahhh… a little. I mean its _not_ in the sense that I did try, but its not my best work. I hope yall will forgive me.  
> I keep reminding myself that I am going to edit this and that it doesn't have to be perfect the first go around but yeah. I mean im a little disappointed in myself for this last chapter but its out there and I like it enough to post it and im super excited to finish this fic so yeah. here it is.
> 
> Again I want to thank each and every one of yall for sticking this out with me. I am a super insecure hooman so all the knowledge of yalls support means the world to me. 
> 
> And lastly, if you want to find me on Twitter thatll be here. I am also under tumblr at Spacesoapopera but ill respond on twitter faster. I plan on writing some oneshots and maybe a shorter fic before TRoS is released but I don't want to commit to a full fledged fic before the movie bc I want to have it finished before the film comes out. So if any of yall have prompts or suggestions IM ALL EARS
> 
> okay, well this is bittersweet, AGAIN THANK YOU ALL I LOVE YOU ALL♥♥♥  
> IMMA SHUT UP NOW. 
> 
> BYEEEEE

**Author's Note:**

> To all my Texans this one is for you. 
> 
> If you don't know what a Buccees is I am so sorry. Think a convenient store but better. Everything you want for a rode trip all in one place. And heavenly gas station bathrooms.
> 
> As you can see I love Buccees. 
> 
>  
> 
> Lastly, I just want to give a huge thanks to @KyloRing for being the most helpful human ever. If it wasn't for our shared writing Facetimes I would never get any shit done!


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